dee

25 something, unemployed doctor waiting to go back to school, and feeding on my delulu-ness daily.

[dee @crabsxdragons]

i want to cry but it just wont come out

[dee @crabsxdragons]

i want to die

[dee @crabsxdragons]

Dear God, if the next 24+ hours go smoothly without any unnecessary drama, I will pray at Siliwangi Temple tomorrow afternoon/ evening

[dee @crabsxdragons]

@geminiurbae dew metajen 😂😂😂 im crying

[dee @crabsxdragons]

Hyang Widhi, sinampura tyang seperti niki, tyang. Tyang sampun ten kuat, tyang mohon Hyang Widhi, ambil manten atman tyang, tyang sampun ten mrasidayang hidup

[dee @crabsxdragons]

Please please please, God, I am begging you to take my life away tonight

[dee @crabsxdragons]

I no longer want to be my family’s burden

[dee @crabsxdragons]

Please God, I am begging you, I no longer have the desire to move forward and live

[dee @crabsxdragons]

Dear God please let me die tonight, or at least be severely injured from a motorcycle accident, I really don’t want to do this anymore

[dee @crabsxdragons]

please lord, i have begged and prayed for this, i cannot take my own life bcs that would break my family every further, please i surrender my life to you, it has always been yours, please take it away

[dee @crabsxdragons]

dear lord, please grant my last wish, i wish to die or be severely injured, if that is the only way that i can go home soon

[dee @crabsxdragons]

please let a car hit me so i get severely injured, or have a tree fall on me, please god, i cannot take it anymore

[dee @crabsxdragons]

dear god, i want to die, please take me now

[dee @crabsxdragons]

it has been over a month since i have seen my family, i miss them so much, i dont know how my brother does it, but i hate being far away from home

[dee @crabsxdragons]

i miss home so much it hurts

[dee @crabsxdragons]

i try to convince myself that there are bigger and better things in this world, life is beautiful and it is still worth living, that i just have to face this head on and let it pass on its own

[dee @crabsxdragons]

should i take matters in my own hands, stop everything, stop breathing, stop living?

[dee @crabsxdragons]

my heart is heavy, my tears run dry, i can barely breathe, when will this end

[dee @crabsxdragons]

the demons are back, i can feel it, my thoughts are in dark places, i am thinking of a way to escape, to leave this world

[dee @crabsxdragons]

one last sleep at home tonight