Crap Hotel Guests Do

What’s the craziest, dumbest, or most insane things you’ve had hotel guests do or say?

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

@Hosp_Princess We’re a small operation with just myself and husband employed at our property, but some of our neighboring hotels have closed and laid off workers. The contractor that cleans the public bathrooms and other public areas is hiring some of them....

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

At your property, do you do free things for peoples birthdays?

I’ve had like 3 people in the last week that are like: BTW we’re staying for my birthday.

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

@NightAuditNonse Then they’re mad at you for not being able to find the reservation 🙄

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

I had to show the #dearcustomer 3 rooms before they settled on the one they want. The wife was worried that the 7:38am sunrise was going to wake her up from any rooms on the east side of the building 🙄

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

#dearcustomer at 10:00am: I know I’m not scheduled to check out until noon, is it ok if I leave now?

😂 yes, #GTFO

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

Me, a hotelier, hiding under the bed:

Armed robber:

Me:

Armed robber: I think I’ll just book now and cancel later.

Me: “DON’T MAKE A RESERVATION TILL YOU ARE SURE”

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

@Hosp_Princess Right?!

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

Customer: I need to cancel my reservation tomorrow bc my meeting got cancelled.
Me: we require a 72-hour cancellation or else we charge you.
Customer: Actually, it’s a personal emergency, can’t you just do it this one time?
Me: no...sorr-ee

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

#guests always say they were “pleasantly surprised” with the property, like that’s supposed to be a compliment. #newsflash....it’s not.

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

Got a long, heartfelt (misspelled) letter from a guest that stole shit from our place about how terrible the service has become and how dare we accuse them of stealing. Long story short, they are cancelling all future stays and will never book with us again.

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

I’m pretty sure I could tell this customer: “you are an idiot” and he’d be like:

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

This family staying with us today....are just so damn stupid. I honestly don’t know how they birthed kids and raised them to be teenagers.

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

#dearcustomer: are you sure you don’t have any rooms that night? [OBSCURE WEBSITE] says you do.

Honey, why would I lie to you about availability?

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

#guestreview: stay was great, everyone was friendly, but you should have had freshly baked cookies available

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

Had a #guest leave $27 wadded up on the counter....is that an accident or tip?

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

Told a #dearcustomer that her preferred room type was sold out and she literally said “boo”. Ok, Lindsay Lohan 🙄

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

#dearcustomer, you forgot your face!

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

We just got a 1 ⭐️ review bc we wouldn’t let someone smoke in the courtyard.... 🙄

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

The human body is amazing. It can take 1 oz of alcohol and make it into a gallon of pee🥂

[Crap Hotel Guests Do @crapguestsdo]

If I could just go one minute without getting unsolicited advice, that’d be great...