Crap Office Quotes

This is a journal of crap things I hear people say at work

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Love a banana me

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The water cooler is always empty by 3 or 4pm. It really is terrible

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Try them, they really are lovely grapes

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Suppose I should actually do some work

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My mouse isn't contoured to my hand. Never has been

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Ian's new car is parked over the lines of the next bay

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The hot tap runs really hot in there at the moment

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'Yeah, you really can overload on soup'

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I know what I want for Christmas, a pencil that doesn't roll off the desk!

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I vill tek it to zee photocopier

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They've fixed the lift. Still, I'm not risking going in it

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That cake was really nice actually. So moist.

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Have you seen Diana's? She's got a lovely pen.

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Is the market on today? Might pick up something naughty #officequotes

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Why do you get the big chair? #officequote

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That's a quick kettle! #officequote

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I'm just popping to le toilette

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It's a bit grey out there

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Who wants a cwup of cwoffee?