the crap pupils talk

These are all genuine classroom interactions all uttered by pupils and recorded by educators for your enjoyment. Dm me with submissions.

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

Teacher: Does anyone know what menstruation is?

Pupil: Is that when a woman sheds her skin?

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

Teacher observes a pupil poking their own eye.

“Don’t touch your eye, they’re easily damaged and it can be permanent “

Pupil: “Do nipples grow back?”

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

Teacher : can anyone give me an example of an STD?

Pupil : Aye the cauld.

Teacher: The cold? No I wouldn’t say so.

Pupil: It is if you huv sex ootside.

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

Teacher:
So , skulls, candles pumpkins. Can we think of any other objects we might associate with Halloween?
Pupil: Eggs.
Teacher: How do you mean eggs?
Pupil: For eggin’ houses miss.

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

Pupil looking at an art poster about pattern interrupts the teacher to ask.

Pupil: See that poster is that for pattern?

Teacher: yes.

Pupil: Pattern? Dolly Pattern?

Teacher: What do you mean Dolly Pattern?

Pupil: You know Dolly Pattern, 9 to 5.

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

Teacher trying to illicit a correct answer to a Warhol image of Marilyn Monroe.

Teacher: So who do think this is? ……I will give you a clue, Marilyn, Marilyn?

Pupil: Madeline McCann?

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

upil 1: I don’t know if I want to go to Turkey it’s pure shady.

Pupil 2: it’s fine. You just make sure you take your pepper spray.

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

Teacher trying to get a response re. the juicy Salif citrus squeezer.

Teacher: When you wake in the morning, you’re having a lovely breakfast and with this you have a glass of ? What might I drink at breakfast?

Pupil: Wine 🍷 #edutwitter #teacherlife #teacher #School

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

Pupil: Mind that week last summer when I was a lesbian.?

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

Teacher; What’s your plan when you leave school?
Pupil: I’m gonnae sell drugs and when I’ve got a couple of grand I’m gonnae get a big dirty boob job.

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

Teacher: So we are going to look at some of Van Gogh’s work

Pupil: Is he not the guy who presents” How to look good naked?”

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

Teacher: Has anyone heard of Leonardo Da Vinci?

Pupil: Was he no in Titanic?

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

Pupil: See that guy Pistachio. Did he no cut his ear off?

Teacher: No, but he was nuts

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

Pupil: I’m going to be a lawyer when I leave school?

Teacher: Really? It’s a lot of reading and you have to be really smart?

Pupil: Naw you don’t you just have to be heavy good at arguing

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

At a school trip to a safari park with signs for various animals.

Pupil: What is Camel?

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

Pupil trying to justify to the teacher his bad behaviour with another pupil.

Pupil: “Aye a was prodding him but he said my maw was tasty.

[the crap pupils talk @crappupilstalk]

Teacher: We are looking for you to draw objects that are personal to you , so what would you like to draw?

Pupil: A jobby.