Millennials, it's time to choose your midife crisis
1. Date a 23 year old
2. Quit drinking and become insufferable about it
3. Double down on drinking
4. Train for a marathon nobody asked about
5. Have a panic baby (with wife you hate)
6. "We're opening the relationship" (she bangs)
7. Get divorced
8. Get diagnosed with adult ADHD/autism
9. Niche side quests like rock climbing, hyrox, gardening, handstands