Juan Cilantro

Here, but not. My soul is in the 716, my soles are hanging off a phone line somewhere in Atlanta.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

We never stopped being emo. Our hair just fell out.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

@budweiserusa #CrackTheLibertyBud #Sweepstakes

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

@ChaelSonnen Once this news hit, I immediately thought about Uncle Chael haha.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

@Topps If Jazz hasn’t already, the odds of him not putting some level of bounty on this are 0.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

@BuffaloBills This looks like a PS2 calf.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

You ever drive to Home Depot just to sit, shit, and reflect? Kind of the middle aged Fortress of Solitude if you really think about it.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

@charli_xcx Seeing this minutes after putting air in the front left tire of our champagne 2018 Ford Fusion has me vibrating.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

@charli_xcx Pink Diamond would go real hard.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

@_IsaiahMcKenzie @CGJXXIII We got the Dennys on Ridge. Old faithful.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

@AdamSchein Adam, that’s always how it ends for us in Buffalo. All we’ve ever known.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

All we’ve ever known is heartbreak.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

@kimpetras Jeep is so good, and such an unexpectedly vulnerable turn from you.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

J+T+Smoochies

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

@BuffaloSabres Rat daddy!

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

Never a doubt after it was over. Go Sabs.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

@stavvybaby This has to be universally related to cancelling the Rochester show.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

@BarstoolBigCat The wedding band being so prominent in this photo is 🤌🏻🤌🏻

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

Bad day to be the barricade at Canalside in Buffalo. WAGON.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

Why are the Sabres worse on the power play than on even strength? First few minutes of the game they’re all over the ice. They get an early man advantage and promptly give up a short handed goal in 15 seconds. Easily their biggest issue speeding into the playoffs.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

@KevOnStage This being serious is borderline unfathomable.

[Juan Cilantro @crashstatus]

Ryan McMahon cannot see another at bat.