Laeki

stuff goes here. idk what to to say really except hi :D

[໊ @buffys]

like this if you still call it twitter

[Cats with aura @Catsworldtweet]

Carefully calculate just to fall on everyone.

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[Naomi @Naomi_Namiko]

when there is a huge height difference between you and your partner 😅

[Cats with aura @Catsworldtweet]

Kitten grew up with rabbits and now he thinks he's a rabbit too

[INTERIOR PORN @INTERIORPORN1]

mood:

[INTERIOR PORN @INTERIORPORN1]

the office chair of my dreams 😭 😭

[Sailor Nana 🩸 @SailorNanaOFC]

Cara, não é possivel uma coisa dessas
#NTE

[Todo Dia Bocchi The Rock! 🎸 @boccherstododia]

a realidade de alguém introvertido:
-🎤

[Emi Lo 🔜 Animeverse Fest Kansas @KitsuneSqueak]

Wow @KaijiTang is so rude

[Christina Assaf-Costello 🌸🌱🍉🍃🌸🌼 @Its_Tina_timeVO]

I debated not saying anything but I’ve seen a bit of a rumor going around I’d like to clear up: it is 100% still me voicing Collei in English. Some of the reasoning I saw said I wasn’t healthy enough to continue, and while I am unhealthy (wildly lmao) I am in fact still doing VO.

[Spill The Memes @SpillTheMemes]

😂

[Birds Colour 🕊️ @birdscolour56]

Nice Tits!