I don't hate socializing. I just love being home. Where it's quiet. Safe. Soft. No small talk. No noise. No pretending to be someone I'm not. Just me. Reading. Thinking. Listening to music. Staring at the wall. Watching old movies. Being bored. And feeling life deeply. Some people call it boring. To me, it's where I finally hear myself again.
i actually think "surface level" friendships are very healthy. not everyone in your life has to be your ride or die. some friends are for the gym. some are for going out. some are just for complaining about work or bureaucracy. when you stop expecting everyone to be your everything, the disappointment disappears. those deep convos and connections are for the 2-3 people closest to you