*~☪~*

You look somewhat familiar, have I threatened you before?
~Captain Jack Sparrow

[Angela Rockford @angie_goodwood]

Whew. A share croppers son. Like I said we ain’t that far removed from ‘history’

[Kelly @broadwaybabyto]

Man has testicular cancer and his best chance of survival is if the testicle is removed.

Doctors refuse to operate because his future wife might want him to be able to have children.

Absurd right?

This is a story about what women face when they need a hysterectomy.

[Ibrahim Khan @unrealpathan]

Gonna say it again, no celebrity has been a bigger victim of misinformation than MJ

[Jay Black @jayblackisfunny]

I’m not saying that my wife needs to dress in all black and grieve me for a year or anything like that, but I’d like to think she’d stay away from sparkling pantsuits and onstage fireworks displays for, like, a few months at least.

[bug girl @buggirl]

my favorite reddit stories to read are ones where husband pressures wife into opening their marriage however he gravely overestimates his market value and loses his fucking mind crying and shitting his pants bc wife is getting many many dates meanwhile no one wants his ugly ass

[IAMNJERA @IAMNJERA]

I often think about the eras when Martin, Fresh Prince, Living Single, etc. + Girlfriends, All of Us, One on One, Eve, The Parkers, Half & Half, My Wife & Kids & more were all on TV at the same time.

And now, well…

[Taurus Groove @jiggyjayy2]

"How do scammers keep getting my number"

INDEED. COM

[Laroi ⚖️ @fwlaroiski]

The weird thing about reading so much as a child and gaining a huge vocabulary from that is I can't define a lot of the words I use, I just...know that they would fit correctly in a specific sentence? Does anyone else experience that?

[⚜️Sovereign⚜️ @sauvamemte]

That lady who said she was teaching her children to not be annoying and to recognize when they are being annoying was absolutely right. a lot of your parents did not teach you when you were being absolutely insufferable or annoying and you need to pick up on that asap.

[sid @atcinemeral]

honestly, the worst trope ever is a man knowing a girl forever and suddenly falling in love the moment she gets pretty..

[🦢 @meishato]

parents are so crazy because they can say the most fucked up shit to you when your brain is forming and it sets the tone for your whole adult mind set and then they forget about it the next day

[♰ @reeceollld]

BRING BACK THE CD/DVD PLAYERS ON LAPTOPS!!!! WHY CANT I PUT A CD IN A LAPTOP!?

[Domo Julio @DapperDomo]

Reminder that the civil rights movement was not just random people who had enough one day. They were carefully and militantly trained political activists who deployed strategic forces to end Jim Crow segregation. Never forget them.

[Martin Scorsese @soldatlunga_]

I met a computer science graduate working at Checkers three days ago and decided to put in a word for him at work. They immediately said yes, all he had to do was send his CV. Now I’m the one chasing him for the CV 😭

[₣ØⱤ₮Ɏ✭ @Forty1_0]

$18 to see a legend ? now it’s $500 to see rod wave

[𝐌𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐚: 𝐃𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐄𝐫𝐚 @AalihaT]

Motown was ignoring the hell outta child labor laws

[Valerie❤️‍🔥☁️ @Valistryingg]

Downplaying romcoms is why we have no new gen Matthew McConaugheys, Hugh Grants, Jude Laws, Colin Firths etc., of the world anymore. Everyone just wants to do serious dramas all the time. Bring back A-list actors with range!

[Freyy @Freyy_is]

there's a woman at this gym who's been doing the exact same workout for the past 3 months.

same machines, same order, same time.

someone new tried to give her advice.

she smiled and said, "I'm not trying to improve. i'm trying to maintain. this body carried me through divorce and cancer. we have an agreement now."

fitness culture doesn't know what to do with contentment.

[Pop Base @PopBase]

Jimmy Kimmel returns to his show with a Tylenol joke:

“I’m not sure who had a weirder 48 hours, me or the CEO of Tylenol.”

[Chukwüderä @chukwudera_ng]

I wish people feared their sons being abusive, pedophiles, and rapists as much as they fear them being gay.