ROLL THE BONES

ALPHA..

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MUNGER? I HARDLY KNOW HER! (RIP)

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DID YOU ASK A NONSENSICAL QUESTION IN A POINTLESS MEETING TO LET EVERYONE KNOW YOU’RE “ADDING VALUE TO THE PROCESS”? YOU MIGHT BE A CREDIT SUISSE EMPLOYEE!

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WHAT DO YOU CALL A PERSON WHOSE ONLY DISCERNIBLE SKILL IS THE ABILITY TO NOT GET FIRED IN A POLITICAL HIERARCHY? A CREDIT SUISSE EMPLOYEE!

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SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT PICKLEBALL JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

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DID YOU ASK A NONSENSICAL QUESTION IN A POINTLESS MEETING TO LET EVERYONE KNOW YOU’RE “ADDING VALUE TO THE PROCESS”? YOU MIGHT BE A CREDIT SUISSE EMPLOYEE!

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WHAT DO YOU CALL A PERSON WHOSE ONLY DISCERNIBLE SKILL IS THE ABILITY TO NOT GET FIRED IN A POLITICAL HIERARCHY? A CREDIT SUISSE EMPLOYEE!

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“NATO? MORE LIKE GAY-TO” MY ANALYST IS TRYING TO WAVE ME OFF BUYING GAZPROM.. EASY MONEY.. “MAYBE I’LL AMASS SOME TROOPS AND I’LL TAKE YOUR MOM’S HOUSE” THE KID’S GOTTA LEARN..

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GROUPON… PORTMANTEAU OF GREY POUPON… MUSTARD…

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SITTING DOWN WITH SOME BLOOMBERG BOZO FOR AN INTERVIEW.. THEY ASK ABOUT MY PROCESS OF COURSE.. “WELL ITS TEN PERCENT LUCK REALLY, 100% SKILL AND TALENT AND 0% ANYONE ELSE HELPING ME.. AND ALSO 15% CONCENTRATED POWER OF WILL”

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“SIMPLY GENIUS, REMARKABLE” I SAY TO VIRTUALLY EVERYONE I MEET AND EVERYTHING I ENCOUNTER... EVENTUALLY SOME BOZO WILL PROVE ME RIGHT AND I WILL TAKE THE VICTORY LAP

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“THE PEOPLE NEED ME... NOW MORE THAN EVER” I AM IN MY PAROLE OFFICER’S PRE-OWNER KIA SEDONA.. “YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON IN THE MARKETS, DO YOU?” I HAND HER A URINE SAMPLE I OBTAINED FROM MY 12 YEAR OLD NIECE

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I LEAN OVER MY DAD'S ASSISTANT'S DESK TO CASUALLY SHOW OFF MY FERRAGAMO BELT THAT PERFECTLY COMPLEMENTS MY PAIR OF RARE JORDAN 1S.. "OH THIS OLD THING? YOU SHOULD THINK OF IT AS SOMETHING TO ASPIRE TO.. ONE DAY YOU'LL HAVE ONE OF YOUR OWN =)" I AM 25 YEARS OLD AND CRUSHING IT

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SOMETIMES, WHEN I HELP OUT A YOUNG PERSON IN THIS FIELD (TOTALLY HAPPENS ALL THE TIME) THEY ASK ME IF THERE’S SOME WAY THEY CAN REPAY THE HELP
I JUST SAY “I CAN TRIPLE YOUR MONEY IN 1 MONTH, DOES THAT SOUND LIKE SOMETHING YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN?”

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COVID HAS BEEN A HUGE WIN FOR ME- NOT ONLY HAVE I BEEN CRUSHING THE MARKET, BUT I NOW HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE TO CROSS TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET WHEN I ENCOUNTER A GROUP OF YOUNG LATINO MEN

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“BACK OFF FILTHY CHINAMAN” I SMASH THE DISGUSTING ASIAN ATTEMPTING TO HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME AT COSTCO WITH MY 30 POUND BAG OF RICE “THAT ONE’S FOR PEARL HARBOR AND CORONAVIRUS”

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MY 2010s: 📝
SLAYED BABES 🔥
GENERATED ALPHA 📈
VANQUISHED MY FOES 💀
SLAYED MORE BABES 🥵
GOT MARRIED 💍
JUST KIDDING IM MARRIED TO THE GAME 🤑
RESPECTED THE TROOPS 🇺🇸
CLEARED AN EASY HUNDO MILL 💦
BEAT THE FRAUD CHARGES 🙅‍♂️

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POOR PRIVILEGE IS REAL— I‘M FORCED TO BEND OVER BACKWARDS FOR SOME BOZO DOC TO WRITE ME A PRESCRIPTION FOR VALIUM WHILE JOANIE NO-VEINS IN BLOOMINGTON INDIANA CAN SCORE UNCUT KETAMINE FROM ONE OF EIGHT DEALERS OF HER CHOOSING OUTSIDE HER WEEKLY NA MEETING.. SUCH BULLSHIT

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LITERALLY ALL I DO AS A MONEYMAKER:
FUCK BABE.
FUCK BABE.
GENERATE ALPHA.
FUCK BABE.
UNDERSTAND MARKETS & MEDITATE.
FUCK SLIGHTLY UGLIER BABE (WE ALL HAVE OFF-DAYS).
PLOW BABE.
PAT MYSELF ON THE BACK FOR MY GOOD ONLINE POSTS.
FAMILY DINNER.
SLAY HOTTEST BABE BEFORE BED.

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BOZO BABE WAKING ME UP AT 5AM FOR ANOTHER ”PERSONAL STRESS TEST”.. “WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE SO GOOD AT FUCKING? OR WILL YOU EVER KNOW?" I CHUCKLE HEARTILY.. “IT TOOK ME 3-4 YEARS OF HARD STUDY AND DAILY GRINDING.. I DONT EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW MARKETS”

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GETTING AHEAD OF MY COUNTERPARTIES AND STAYING SHARP BY DOING SYNTHETIC SWAP TRADES ON THE REPO MARKET AND TACTICALLY DEFAULTING ON PARI PASSU CAPITAL STRUCTURES- THE GRIND NEVER STOPS BABE