D.J. Crenshaw

[Chad Prather @WatchChad]

Twenty more dollars to fill up my truck but at least nothing mean gets tweeted.

[Liz Crenshaw @LizKhalifa_25]

Mississippi word of the day: Worfashit
“I didn’t sleep worfashit last night.”

[matt walsh @mrmattwalsh]

The symbolism is not lost on me! First you save my life then you come back as this adorable miracle.  @MrPeanut, you’ve outdone yourself. #BabyNut #ad

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

College football is a perfect sport because sometimes the most memorable play of the season is a ridiculous highlight which shifts the national championship race and sometimes it’s a guy on a 4-8 team pretending to pee like a dog.

[Liz Crenshaw @LizKhalifa_25]

Me - how does life insurance even work?
Dj - you die, I get money.
@crenshaw_dj I’m feeling the love.

[Liz Crenshaw @LizKhalifa_25]

i just want @crenshaw_dj to have normal cell service and be in the states again. that’s all.

[D.J. Crenshaw @crenshaw_dj]

👏👏👏

[Ivanka Trump @IvankaTrump]

Women can choose to knock each other down or build each other up. I choose the latter.

[D.J. Crenshaw @crenshaw_dj]

@LizKhalifa_25 @carodeo007 😂😂😂 you’re still good @LizKhalifa_25 I am the one that’s going to die alone lmao

[D.J. Crenshaw @crenshaw_dj]

There may be more rednecks in the north than there are in the south. #possiblefact

[D.J. Crenshaw @crenshaw_dj]

Being a jerk is something that is completely unnecessary.

[D.J. Crenshaw @crenshaw_dj]

Whoever says guys are more perverted have never been in a truck full of girls heading to a rodeo 😂😂

[D.J. Crenshaw @crenshaw_dj]

Public service announcement:
when you see a white fence up around a horse trailer at a rodeo or an event. It’s not petting zoo cord. It is an electric fence. It will light you up and shock the potential piss out of you.

[D.J. Crenshaw @crenshaw_dj]

Just accidentally stuck my whole hand in mayonnaise, and I am about to cut my hand off if I can’t get some hand sanitizer. 🤢🤢 #traumatized

[Mkenzee Renae @HegwoodMkenzee]

One day my daughter will have her heart broken by a mini cowboy just as we all have. And on that day I hope she calls procom and majorly fucks up his entire schedule. Ya know, get em where it hurts 😎

[D.J. Crenshaw @crenshaw_dj]

Rodeo is..... waking up at 1:30am.. not having a clue why your a/c isn’t working and shocking the crap out of yourself on the electric fence bc you assume it’s off too. All the while trying to channel your inner electrician when in reality.. you really have no clue

[D.J. Crenshaw @crenshaw_dj]

If you don’t let your kids play in the middle of the interstate.. then don’t let them play behind the alley at a rodeo..

[D.J. Crenshaw @crenshaw_dj]

2am: dogs wake me up barking
Me: 🤔 serial killer or raccoon?
Dogs: still barking
Me: I’ll take my chances. 😴😴😴
5am: I’m still alive and my dogs are assholes. #falsealarms

[D.J. Crenshaw @crenshaw_dj]

I was fixing feed at the barn and a horse fly bit me on the butt through my shorts causing me to spill my supplements on the ground as I jumped/tripped to get away from it. I can only imagine this was a bet & all of his horse fly buddies stopped to laugh at the scene he caused.