Angela

broke - crappy housewife - puppy lover - glutton - hi

[Lin-Manuel Miranda @Lin_Manuel]

Therapist: Let's talk about your romantic expectations.

Me: I used to dream that I would meet a prince...

Therapist: That’s common--

Me: But God Almighty have you’ve seen what’s happened since?

Therapist: No, not again--

Me: MASTER OF THE HOUSE, ISNT WORTH MY SPIT—

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

78% of people want to gentrify Mordor

[Angela @cres_angela]

Shoutout to @netflix for giving me the best wedding present: New episodes of Great British Bake Off #GBBO 👰🏻🎉🙌🏼 #whenyougiveagirlachance

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

gooooob morning. i think. you’re gonna do great today

[Angela @cres_angela]

@anna_stevenson9 *shrieks in terror*
Sidenote: when are you going to meet my dog?
Other sidenote: this is the most Twitter action I've had since our social media class.

[Angela @cres_angela]

Those frosted sugar cookies are garbage.

[Angela @cres_angela]

@heidi_rottier You're breaking my heart

[Angela @cres_angela]

@anna_stevenson9 I'd have to disagree

[ephant (same name at bsky) @ephant]

People say “well what did people do before vaccines/antibiotics/pasteurisation?” as if that’s an argument for going natural.

They died, Carol. A lot of people died.

[Kristin Beal @krizzlebea]

the scariest aspect of the mollie tibbetts case is that, once again, we have a man who apparently was so upset with a woman's rejection that he had no choice but to kill her. no matter how many times I hear a story like this, it's still unfathomable. rest in peace, mollie.

[Angela @cres_angela]

Kinda want to get it, kinda already spent $70 on eyeshadow already. But also.... naked palette

[People @people]

Urban Decay Is Discounting the OG Naked Palette - Get It Now for 50% Off https://t.co/Ra2gEOKu8b

[Angela @cres_angela]

I want to work for Denny's. Can I join your social media team?

[Denny’s @DennysDiner]

a cheese grater implies the existence of a cheese lesser

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

i just woke up. from my early afternoon snoozle. which means we’re not far away. from the midafternoon snoozle. but i may have to reschedule. the pre-evening snoozle. i’m just too busy

[alex guarnaschelli @guarnaschelli]

Why does a classic grilled cheese have to be healthier? Some things arent meant to be their healthiest. A grilled American cheese sandwich on white bread lives its best life.

[Angela @cres_angela]

ME https://t.co/WBR2kgGHUX

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

everything. is going to be alright. because guess what. i love you

[Jesse McCartney @JesseMcCartney]

All I want is

*gunshot*
*gunshot*
*cash register noise*

you and your beautiful soul

[Abby McConnell @DatGirlAhBee]

Picture this: #TheBachelorette gets pregnant during fantasy suites week. There are 3 possible fathers. It’s a real life Mamma Mia and everyone sings ABBA.

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

i have stolen a yogurt lid. from the trash. it’s nothing personal. i was just feeling angsty. but now the human is chasing me. and i have no choice. but to evade them spectacularly

[samantha @milkygoddess]

boys always ask “wyd” it’s never “can i send u money” 😪