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trite, contrite and rarely right

[Nyatsimba Mutotesi @timiretimzzy2]

Pork has three religions waging war against it and it’s still the most consumed meat in the world.

No one can dim your light if you are the best.

[soso⋆ ˚｡𖦹 @naoehokenny]

eu acordei hoje igual o kanye west quando ele fez uma lista de inimigos e a mulher e a filha dele tavam lá

[mimogged (((ⵣ))) @nayana317668]

A true nationalist hates his people for being retarded

[gabi das cervejas @gabimancinii]

A falta da mtv criou jovens conservadores

[zaynub @Heydontfrown]

Real Twitter users don't give a damn about getting 0 likes, it's not a social network for us. It's our personal journal.

[𑣲 evie gora @deareviegora]

"do you wanna go to the movies" "do you wanna go to the bookstore" "do you wanna go to the thrift shop"

[メ @BjaySwag]

me realizing my coworkers have genuinely accepted this life (i need to escape this job and lock in before i end up like them).

[A @jaimeraamos]

The daughter of Peña, ex president of Paraguay lmfaooo:

[jo @factgit]

Mandatory phishing course bc I thought hr was inviting me to a birthday party

[soup🕷️ @thrluv]

*throws Amex down at the abortion clinic* keep the tab open

[sono✖️🌗 @sosonosonosono]

THEYRE DOING GAY ABORTIONS IN WALMART RIGHT NOW

[irene anna❤️‍🔥 @enerianna]

AI could never write the tweets I’ve seen today

[greeble 🪲🧪 @cyanociitta]

WHITE PEOPLE DISCONTINUED BY 2027

[abney @abnkzt]

you can order a sex change on doordash now

[fawn @fawnncel]

the fact that people can perceive me and then discuss it later is so sick

[normal person @arianadotgov]

they’re going to give newborn babies septum piercings at the hospital

[Never break kayfabe @Quadripolar_B]

How many hoes in the room

[michelle @fluffygirlpaws]

ur literally hugslop bro
ur cuddlebait

[nate. @fjxr_]

having an unemployed friend to text during work is so important. they’re like the window in your prison cell.