Mack McGumtree

Rock gnome. Bard. Drug-addled & LOVIN' EVERY SECOND! Keep an eye out for my drinking buddy Tipsy, will ya? (pink pygmy elephant, loves beer, HATES assholes)

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

I LOVE dimension-hoppin'! But I gotta say, man, your dimension's weird right now. In mine? We rarely elect the village idiot as king #Drumpf

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

I never met a pizza I didn't like... Literally. I've met, like, four talking, sentient pizzas in my day (bathtub mescalin). Good peeps!

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

Gary the Dog, after 2 days of eating like a king & being given some space, officially says "'F' space, let's cuddle."

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

Dear President-Elect Trump: Here’s How to Fix Your Conflict-of-Interest Problem, via @nytimes https://t.co/1ZvkKyMnPX

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

In Scotland, Trump Built a Wall. Then He Sent Residents the Bill., via @nytimes https://t.co/GfbOHIHbIn

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

Potential Conflicts Around the Globe for Trump, the Businessman President, via @nytimes https://t.co/Ku9D6BjASj

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

@Rabid_X AW MAN! Zat's so kind. THANK YOU! Whoa HEY! You related to Mickey Stormcrowe? Little guy? Cheats at checkers? If so, say hi for me!

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

@Twohounds1 'EY! THANKS, MAN.

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

@bpub Hope "The Sad Song" didn't make you sob TOO much.

[Kyle Gould @Horatio78]

Popcorn and @CritJuice tonight! #excited Hope for @critj_mumbles original and @critj_chancho pant rubbing and @critj_Roofer business card!

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

FAVORITE LIQUOR? Root-Mold Moonshine. Makes Bahamut's Breath look like ginger beer. But the BUZz is BOUND to make memories. Annnd erase some

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

@KurtAAnderson @CritJuice Talked to Pete. He's one upstandin' sonuvagun. Even mentioned they accepted #dickspirit as a currency.

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

@MarieCGould I know she registers beer signs. Pointed her trunk at them on pub crawls. I'll just do a @KingHarborBrew sign with an arrow.

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

@Notta_Gamer Ho-ly-TATTER-TOTS! You got a deal, lady. I'll make that emo-dragon so happy you'd think Hot Topic was having a 100% off SALE!

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

Anybody know a dragon who sky-writes? Thinkin' bout using it to find Tipsy. Something like: "TIPSY. Greyhaven. Quick! FREE BEER" #critjuice

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

DON'T WORRY, DINFIZZLE! You're my gnome from another home and I DON'T let anybody get bullied. 'Specially someone who enables my addictions!

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

@HoundishDemigod GODSDAMN, man. I WISH! We'd have already been kicked outta two bars by now.

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

@HoundishDemigod AW JEEZ, MAN! Ya makin' this bard blush. Well you got good taste, friend. When it comes to lutes & shouting: I'M THE BEST!!

[Mack McGumtree @critj_mumbles]

@critj_Roofer HAH! FANTASTICAL, man! Gonna use it to up my game on finding Tipsy. And probably have another beer or four.