James Crossley

Choked up, face down, burnt out.

[James Crossley @crossleyjc]

@MinistryofWit @haveigotnews Well, that nothing to be ashamed of - you can always speak to your doctor about it.

[James Crossley @crossleyjc]

I'd like to have a superpower, but can't see myself being invisible.

#LunchPun

[James Crossley @crossleyjc]

@RealMattLucas You must be Kidding.

[James Crossley @crossleyjc]

@ArianeSherine I think he misunderstood when you said 'fancy a cuppa?'.

[James Crossley @crossleyjc]

I wasn't sure if I'd offended Gwen Stefani but she was in no doubt.

#LunchPun

[BLAIM GAME @BLAIMGame]

“We asked 48m voters ‘What would make you vote for Labour again’

You said - Gordon Brown

If it’s up there I’ll give you the money myself”

[James Crossley @crossleyjc]

@GaryDelaney That came out with remarkable ease.

[James Crossley @crossleyjc]

@RealMattLucas Why didn't they just call it Spring?

[James Crossley @crossleyjc]

My friend Jean is obsessed with cleanliness after years of people saying "Hi Jean!".

#LunchPun

[James Crossley @crossleyjc]

A cremation isn't just given, it has to be urned.

#LunchPun

[Freyja1 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇸🇯🇩🇪 @FreyjaBakke]

MISSING 15 YEAR OLD GIRL | URGENT PLEASE SHARE

🔍 IMOGEN, 15
Imogen has been reported missing and her family are extremely worried for her welfare. She has now been missing for over 14 hours, which is out of character.

📍 LAST SEEN LOCATION
Last seen at around 9pm on 1 May 2026 in Hawkenbury Recreation Ground, Tunbridge Wells.
No confirmed sightings since.

🙏 CONTACT POLICE
If you see Imogen or have any information about her whereabouts, please contact police on 101 immediately.
If there is an immediate sighting, call 999.

💬 MESSAGE TO IMOGEN
Imogen, you are not in trouble. Please get in touch with someone or go somewhere safe — your family are really wPLEASE SHARE THIS POST URGENTLY — EVERY SHARE COULD HELP BRING IMOGEN HOME SAFELY

#Missing #MissingGirl #FindImogen #TunbridgeWells #UrgentAppeal

[WeGotitBack 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧🇺🇸 @NotFarLeftAtAll]

Typical…

[James Crossley @crossleyjc]

I've opened a new cheap suit shop called Tailor Thrift.

#LunchPun

[James Crossley @crossleyjc]

@sophielouisecc Or possibly delivered by Amazon.

[James Crossley @crossleyjc]

@10DowningStreet @Keir_Starmer Did you know you were in Paris or did nobody tell you?

[James Crossley @crossleyjc]

Not one of Harry Enfield's most popular characters.

[Matt Lucas HQ @RealMattLucas]

good morning

[Gareth Roberts @OldRoberts953]

‘I’m appalled by my own incompetence’

[Right over Left Everytime @RightSide_Uk]

Just go for fucks sake

[James Crossley @crossleyjc]

@tom_watson But when it comes to internal affairs he's clueless 🙈

[James Crossley @crossleyjc]

@haveigotnews And Huw Edwards.