Joanne Crowley Kolb

[Miranda Devine @mirandadevine]

🙏 ❤️

[Art Institute Lions @ChicagoLions]

Crosstown Rivalry 🦁⚾️🦁

NORTH Lion roots for the Cubs. SOUTH Lion is a White Sox fan.

Together, we make Chicago baseball go ‘round.

#Cubs vs. #WhiteSox

[The Seed @theseed59788459]

Dear Muslims: My family and I have decided to move from the US to a Muslim country. We haven't picked which one yet—we're still comparing which one offers the best benefits package.

All my neighbors want to come too. And my neighbors' neighbors. And all their friends. And their friends' friends. Millions of us will show up with suitcases and a sense of entitlement.

As a large Christian community, we'll need a few small changes: Please start building churches immediately. Real churches, with nice loud bells, the kind that can be heard from the town square.

We'll also need for everyone to celebrate Christmas, and to close certain streets once a year for our processions. We may want to gather to pray to our Almighty God on your streets, in your parks, or on the lawns of your mosques.

We'll be an oppressed minority, so you'll have to be understanding and adapt to our way of life. Every supermarket must stock real pork, ham, chorizo, and bacon. And we're bringing all our dogs, so you'll need dog parks, and you'll have to smile tolerate them we walk them in front of your mosques. We want our women to be able to safely go out alone and wear shorts and tank tops. And when the weather's nice, we men like to go shirtless. We also want to drink alcohol, dance, and place an occasional bet at the horse races.

While we're at it, your religious holidays are a bit too much; they could offend the Christian community, so we'd appreciate it if you'd discreetly eliminate them. Thanks.

In schools and workplaces, our children and employees must be able to wear large crucifixes, say prayers, eat ham sandwiches in the cafeteria, and learn Christian principles without anyone getting criticized. We also demand chapels or Christian prayer rooms in every building, plus translators, because we have no intention of learning Arabic.

If any of this is rejected, please send a list of police station addresses so we can report you for discrimination, Christianophobia, racism, and anything we don't like.

One more thing: if my kids protest or burn your flag for any reason, please be understanding. I'll be sure to give them a very serious scolding.

Finally, we all want generous benefits, free housing, phones, free food, and pocket money while we "integrate" over the next three generations. Working is optional, obviously. Be patient with us, you'll get used to it.

We thank you in advance for your tolerance and compassion. After all, diversity is our strength!

Sincerely,
A Very Reasonable Christian

[Joanne Crowley Kolb @crowkolb]

@japan_nobunaga Love your stories.
You have a wonderful way with words !

[Cynical Publius @CynicalPublius]

I had a dream last night that Michael Crichton was still alive and he wrote a book called “Two Weeks to Stop the Spread.”

The book’s main character was a megalomaniacal, narcissistic senior US health official who was using NIH funds to work with China to engineer a virus designed to wipe out the world’s elderly and infirm populations, thereby decreasing the public health and expense burden foisted on younger generations.

Other main characters included a wildly popular, populist US President who was destroying the trade imbalance with China and revitalizing the US economy (and who was running for a second term), a shadowy mastermind in the Chinese Communist Party, a secret cabal of major US news network executives and a consortium of US state governors from large, Democrat states.

The shadowy Chinese figure determined that releasing the virus into the wild would devastate the world economy, thus making the US President’s re-election unlikely (in favor of a dim-witted candidate whom China had been blackmailing for decades).

The shadowy Chinese figure called a meeting with the US network heads and the Democrat state governors where they agreed to wildly overstate the threat of this new virus, effectively grinding the US and world economies to a halt so that the 90 IQ, blackmailed Presidential candidate of choice could gain the Oval Office.

The story is told in the form of diary entries by the megalomaniacal, narcissistic senior US health official who lays out the whole plot from start to finish while constantly basking in the glow the network executives created for him.

The story has one hero, an enterprising and honest physician who constantly speaks out about the actual origins and effects of the virus, only to find his professional and personal lives destroyed for speaking truth.

Years later the megalomaniacal, narcissistic senior US health official’s diary becomes public, vindicating the enterprising and honest physician, except nobody apologizes to him or gives him his life back.

In my dream, nobody would publish the book, even though Michael Crichton was the author, because the story was too far-fetched and unbelievable.

Then I woke up.

[A Man Of Memes @RickyDoggin]

They were conservative before they were socialist..

[Sassafrass84 @Sassafrass_84]

Say it again for the retards in the back.

[Flopping Aces @FloppingAces]

Most people still talk about 2020 like it was a story about one man who couldn’t accept losing. That framing was never accidental. It was the easiest way to keep the real issue off the table.

The actual damage wasn’t that Donald Trump lost an election. The actual damage was that millions of Americans were left with the sickening possibility that their consent no longer determines who holds power in this country. That’s not a personal grievance. That’s a direct assault on the principle that government derives its authority from the governed.

When the system that’s supposed to translate the people’s will into leadership becomes untrustworthy, the injury doesn’t stop at the candidate who got the short end. The injury lands on every citizen whose vote was supposed to carry real weight.

The ballot isn’t just a counting exercise. It’s the mechanism by which “We the People” actually exercises authority over those who rule. Corrupt that mechanism, and you don’t just change an election result. You break the chain of consent that makes self-government legitimate in the first place.

That’s why the entire conversation was relentlessly dragged back to Trump’s reaction. A fight about one man’s ego can be mocked, contained, and eventually forgotten. A fight about whether the American people still get to decide who governs them cannot be dismissed so easily. So they made sure the second conversation never happened.

The presidency doesn’t belong to any politician. It belongs to the citizens who are supposed to grant temporary authority through elections they can actually trust. Once that trust is gone, everything else is just theater.
(article below)

[Hayley Caronia @hayleycaronia]

What if I gave birth at an Olive Garden location? Is my baby entitled to a never-ending pasta pass?

[Justine Bateman @JustineBateman]

It tracks that the group of people who thought they should be treated as VIPs (and use Uber to feel like they have a chauffeur, TaskRabbit and GrubHub and Instacart to feel like they have an assistant), don’t want to come into the office, demand compensation from perceived slights at work, want to work from home, want to work less than five days a week, want everyone to walk on eggshells around them because of all their “invisible disabilities,” have their parents subsidize their life, etc, would want socialism. The final step in their line of shrugging off responsibility.
I have yet to see someone who has worked hard for a living, regardless of income, advocating for socialism.

[Joanne Crowley Kolb @crowkolb]

@japan_nobunaga God Bless The Candy Bomber!
He was a special man.

[Secretary Doug Burgum @SecretaryBurgum]

250 years of American greatness in 2 minutes and 50 seconds.

Happy 250th birthday, America! 🇺🇸

[Brandon Gill @realBrandonGill]

Remember who you are, American. 🇺🇸

[Tara LaRosa @TaraLaRosa]

Greatest new song to come out of the World Cup! ⚽️❤️🇺🇸 Welcome To The Land Of The Free!🇺🇸❤️⚽️

[Flopping Aces @FloppingAces]

America’s ruling class has performed another miracle.

They took the most basic truths in human civilization ... crime needs punishment, borders need enforcement, schools should teach, welfare should be temporary, families matter, merit matters, and taxpayers should not be looted by professional parasites ... and somehow rebranded all of that as “extremism.”

Incredible work, really.

Apparently, a “compassionate” society is one where the violent repeat offender gets another chance, the victim gets a candlelight vigil, the taxpayer gets the bill, the schoolkid gets passed along illiterate, the fraudster gets a grant, the NGO gets another contract, the illegal alien gets services, and the working American gets told to shut up and be more inclusive.

What a beautiful system.

Soft justice did not stay in the courtroom. It metastasized. It became soft borders, soft schools, soft parenting, soft welfare, soft standards, soft men, and soft bureaucrats explaining why every obvious solution is “too harsh.”

Lock up predators? Cruel.
Deport illegals? Hateful.
End generational welfare? Lacking empathy.
Punish fraud? Complicated.
Restore merit? Problematic.
Teach kids to read? Probably colonialism by Tuesday.

A serious country protects the innocent from the guilty. A decaying country protects the guilty from consequences and makes the innocent finance the experiment.

That’s America’s real crisis.

Not poverty. Not “root causes.” Not another fake expert panel.

Consequences.

We stopped imposing them on the people destroying the country, so now the country imposes them on everyone else.
(article below)

[Joanne Crowley Kolb @crowkolb]

@JocAPhotography Wow. What a great shot!

[Joanne Crowley Kolb @crowkolb]

@TiffMoodNukes Happy Birthday, Tiff! What an accomplishment.
When we finally give up control and turn it over to God, we can begin our recovery. ❤️‍🩹 my sober date is 8/4/91 😊

[toddstarnes @toddstarnes]

THIS!!!

[Joanne Crowley Kolb @crowkolb]

@ZoeyCatBell @GuyChicago5151 Rangers Lead The Way.

[Joanne Crowley Kolb @crowkolb]

@Interior This is so moving to me. 🥹
150 years later and these roads are still visible. Amazing.