Personal Mental Health Journal

This account is not meant to get followers, this is an account just to vent to myself and a personal journal for mental health

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

I’m a fucking mess right now

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

I’m just going to hypothetically sneak out the window, and walk a direction until something happens

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

I’m sick of it, mostly my mom is being very annoying right now. Having trouble doing stuff or gaining motivation yet she pushes me to go to school. She’s just using me to get money it feels like

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

Except transphobic and or homophobic people they can go eat shit for all I care

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

I love everyone even if they hate my guts I’ll love them. I have no hate for anyone but myself. I have learned of you keep blaming others for your mistakes you’ll never get anywhere.

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

I’m going to try to calm down, and just relax I’m probably overthinking everything. Everything is going to be fine; atleast that’s what I tell myself.

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

I’m going to isolate myself for 24 hours to challenge myself, no human interaction, no leaving my room. No eating food only drinking water

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

I try to be nice, wishing them a good day, a good night, an amazing holiday and I just get told to shut up. I apologize too much, i probably can’t even go 24 hours without saying sorry.

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

I can’t express myself however I want to. I get bullied for being gay, I get bullied for doing this or for thinking that. I honestly start laughing at how miserable I am. I have no hope, I’m probably better off dead.

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

These last two years have been terrible for me. 2020 I was suicidal and cried everyday. 2021 it’s slightly better, I don’t want to die I just don’t want to exist. I feel like..no I know nobody likes me, I mess up everybody’s day. Nobody takes me serious, what’s even the point.

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

Man i just want someone to respect me, I want to talk to someone without them hating me. But that’s a lot to ask for :)

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

I don’t think a single person likes me at all.

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

Life is so fucking boring, everyday feels the same. I cry for hours and everyone still hates me.

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

I’m trying to distract my emotional pain using physical pain.

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

I cut a bit of my hand in areas. It feels like I have a thousand paper cuts and it feels tingly

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

I want to die, but I can’t push myself to do it. I’m sure my parents would miss me. Not so sure about my friends.

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

I’m not afraid of death, if anything it’d be a blessing.

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

I’ve found a solution to being mad, whether it be with myself or a friend it anyone really. I start doing push-ups, all that adrenaline has to go somewhere. So I use it to benefit me.

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

Y’know things could be worse, at least I have one friends who’ll always be there for me. I’m going to be honest he is my only reason for living.

[Personal Mental Health Journal @cruings]

I am having such a shitty day, I just want to not cry for one day. I just want to be happy for one day.