Chris Harward

I have many hobbies and interests but I particularly enjoy autoerotic asphyxia...

[Chris Harward @crunchtimechris]

I want to reset the WiFi password at work to "Fuck-Off" to make being asked "What's the Wifi password?" a hundred times a day more bearable.

[Chris Harward @crunchtimechris]

The only thing I enjoyed about the Euros was the little remote control cars that dropped the ball off on the pitch.

[Chris Harward @crunchtimechris]

If Marcus Rushford spent less time worrying about trampy kids not getting enough potato waffles and more time concentrating on FOOTBALL maybe England wouldn't have put in such a pathetic performance against Scotland!

[Chris Harward @crunchtimechris]

Sometimes I just think 'fuck the bees!' Survival of the fittest brah.

[Chris Harward @crunchtimechris]

The only thing that would make me give a shit about Paul McCartney's new album would be if Heather Mills had a 3 minute saxophone solo on every song.

[BRYN_BORANGA @BRYN_BORANGA]

If I was on Four In A Bed, I would smear human faeces on the top of every doorframe and window ledge just to give those paedos who go checking for dust with their fingers something to really complain about.

[Chris Harward @crunchtimechris]

The BBC is both brave and inspiring...

[BRYN_BORANGA @BRYN_BORANGA]

OMFG THIS CANNOT POSSIBLY BE TRUE!!!! 🤬🤬🤬

BBC to rerun classic Only Fools and Horses Christmas Special with ALL lines of dialogue dubbed over by Diane Abbott saying 'Black Lives Matter'

[Chris Harward @crunchtimechris]

Ellie and Izzi are piss poor, but I can't argue with science I guess...

[BRYN_BORANGA @BRYN_BORANGA]

Here's the definitive list of Gogglebox contributors ranked. like it or not, this is scientifically correct

[Mick Jagger @MickJagger]

I’m so looking forward to coming back to an America free of harsh words and name calling and be amongst people who I know have common ground and harmony. It’s a challenge but it can be done!

[Liam Gallagher @liamgallagher]

FUCK LOCKDOWN

[BRYN_BORANGA @BRYN_BORANGA]

It truly is the beginning of the gammonpocalypse.

Go on Meghan lad, fucking FINISH THEM

[Chris Harward @crunchtimechris]

Who wouldn't want their sexual harassment to be narrated by Morgan Freeman?

[Chris Harward @crunchtimechris]

@OfficialMAOAM Just bought a packet of Maoam Stripes containing only ONE cherry Flavoured Chew!!! Unacceptable.

[Chris Harward @crunchtimechris]

A few of these available with 20% off when you enter the coupon code TORYSCUM

https://t.co/HVOyepRI3i

[Chris Harward @crunchtimechris]

I have some new t shirt designs on TeePublic! https://t.co/BMKo82B2id

[Chris Harward @crunchtimechris]

On Etsy Now...https://t.co/xImIcGs9rH

[Liam Gallagher @liamgallagher]

R u mad for it Madrid LG x

[Joshua Surtees @Josh_ua_Surtees]

Looks like a white power salute. Quite apt for your club. Excellent market research, guys. Congrats. #LUFC #lufcnewbadge https://t.co/urnMwtV6Rb

[Chris Harward @crunchtimechris]

Just posted a photo https://t.co/tGYdJZ7cme

[Chris Harward @crunchtimechris]

Another one of these going out in the post today...no more medium size left!!! But for all you… https://t.co/o5kN3FHW1l

[Chris Harward @crunchtimechris]

Originally intended for 'Life Isn't Worth Living'... Boris Johnsonic Youth.

#art #illustration… https://t.co/Emwf4eDqCQ