Christina Swanson

⚡️Stay Cosmic⚡️

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

@fairsh8ksrinear @molls I’m in the same shitty boat. Sending ❤️.

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

@ianjpower This shit is 🍌⚡️🍌.

[billy eichner @billyeichner]

Nothing says summer like ordering stamps while crying.

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

Get out of my dreams and into my Trentmobile.

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

@ianjpower True story.

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

Suspicions confirmed; I am a cave woman.

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

Welp. Even Taylor Swift is depressed.

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

The psychic beatings will continue until morale improves.

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

The only living being on this planet I know who still likes Zooming is my kitten.

[Ben Kissel @BenKisse]

I CAST A HELLISH REBUKE ON 2020

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

At a tiny corner store I passed a man in the aisle who turned on his heels and bellowed at me, “6 feet!”

I responded, “Actually, sir, I’m 5’11”.”

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

Turns out I’m much better at birthdays than I am at constructing furniture. 35 and still alive, baybay!

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

Day eleventy-whatever of QT: briefly (but still too long) considered sending nudes to my therapist.

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

To think, I used to describe my fear of high fives as “irrational”.

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

Day twenty-something of QT captain’s log: all exes who haven’t come crawling out of the woodwork are OFFICIALLY dead to me.

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

I just want to take this opportunity to say to the world at large, you are very welcome that I singlehandedly popularized Internet Friendship in the early 2000’s.

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

Skeet skeet

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

MY EYES

[Jeanette Hayes @jeanettehayes]

Does cuomo... have... a nip piercing

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

Don’t want to start any blasphemous rumors but I think that God’s got a sick sense of humor.

[Christina Swanson @crunk_station]

“I’d shoot you before I shot my cat.” - Joe Exotic