Officer Dorf

The Official Twitter Account of Crystal Lake's top Motorcycle Cop. I am a graduate of the Crystal Lake Academy, and I have a nose for Columbian Gold !!

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

alright....what are you people doing here?

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

@Shanassty porn with light choking while whispering nasty shit in thier ear

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

well well well, I'll be dipped...the old gang is still around, well Dorf is here baby.

[Woods After Dark: Ultimate Horror Group @WOODSDARKMAN]

If you were the killer in an 80s summer camp slasher movie, what would be your preferred weapon of choice?

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

I ordered body bags off Amazon, I think this Friday is going to be the worst one we ever had.

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

@DeputyPierceH4 @F13PD We're out there, every day...keeping noses clean

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

Nothing but unclean noses on these trails...busy summer

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

Well said !! Your friends are always here.

[Friday The 13th: The Franchise 🪓 @F13thFranchise]

Depression is a debilitating disease. It’s real and a constant struggle. For everyone out there that deals with this, please know you always have support from this community. Don’t ever give up. Much love and respect to you all.

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

@kksampodcast Sailing over there now. :p

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

@JGoodmanNYU Put that down

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

@GarrisSheriff Alive..pffft, I know what thats going on the books as.

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

@Jaws_TheShark If you need relationship advice...im not just a hip motorcycle cop

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

@WhoThat_One_Guy Someone wants to wrap your face in shrink wrap and pee on you...deal breaker

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

It was weird because she suddenly got to her feet, and then flung herself backwards into the lake.. when I pulled her out she just kept repeating.. the boy, the boy.

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

Was out combing the area, a girl asleep in a canoe in the middle of the lake, which in and of itself is not unusual for these parts.

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

@OfficerTf13 On it sarge. You can count on me

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

@CrazyRalph1980 Hiatus overwith, missed my fellow denizens of the horror genre:)

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

@EdnaHockett @OfficerTf13 Being a top motorcycle cop can be lonely, good to have a lap to cozy up to

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

@OfficerTf13 picked it up and shook it...who can explain it, gonna see if it can predict if @EdnaHockett wants to have a little fun after her old man passes out tonight :)

[Officer Dorf @CrystalLakeCop]

@OfficerTf13 Crystal Ball is revealing the culprit...soon as I'm done at the diner, I'm gonna drag that hockey wannabe in and smack him around till he's ready to answer a few questions