avery ☆ IM BACK

20 she/they ☆ ednos ☆ vegetarian ☆ sw: 72kg, cw: idk tbh, gw: 45kg

[avery ☆ IM BACK @crystlcals]

@maryyy_222 thank you <33

[avery ☆ IM BACK @crystlcals]

need to be triggered into a full blown relapse i cant do this anymore i hate binging i hate my body i hate my non existent self-control i hate myself

[avery ☆ IM BACK @crystlcals]

we're long distance so i couldn't do shit and he just got admitted and i still cant do shit cuz im 600km away

[avery ☆ IM BACK @crystlcals]

anyway my boyfriend got sent to a mental hospital after we had a fight cuz im insecure asf and i blame myself so i need to punish myself xx

[avery ☆ IM BACK @crystlcals]

ok that makes me look so bad im not toxic i promise we're just both depressed asf and i needed reassurance that he couldn't give me so he blamed himself and had a breakdown and tried to hurt himself for being a bad bf and his mom called an ambulance

[avery ☆ IM BACK @crystlcals]

wore a dress today and it made me feel so bad about myself i wish my stomach was flat i need to get back on track fr ive had enough of this recovery bullshit which is honestly just binging

[avery ☆ IM BACK @crystlcals]

like i was doing so good at my recovery attempt on my own and he dropped "you're not skinny" trying to make me feel better cuz he thinks skinny is disgusting but i fasted for 24+ hours afterwards and now im falling back into my disordered habits

[avery ☆ IM BACK @crystlcals]

i haven't been on here for so long but im back im struggling and my bf doesn't understand and just triggers me further

[avery ☆ IM BACK @crystlcals]

i want to relapse i NEED to relapse

[avery ☆ IM BACK @crystlcals]

*recovered im drunk sorry

[avery ☆ IM BACK @crystlcals]

i "recovered" but I'm honestly just back to binge eating everyday

[avery ☆ IM BACK @crystlcals]

* recovering not recovering

[avery ☆ IM BACK @crystlcals]

im seeing him in 48 hours so im gonna fast for 48 hours

[avery ☆ IM BACK @crystlcals]

fasting cuz im seeing my bf on wednesday and i need to be pretty for him 🫶🏻

[avery ☆ IM BACK @crystlcals]

a few minutes later "didn't u wanna eat another one?" "no im not hungry anymore" and now he feels guilty for triggering me 🧍

[avery ☆ IM BACK @crystlcals]

purged after my bf told me to watch my weight & that im eating too much sweets after i said im thinking about another nutella toast xx he had good intentions and said he just didn't want me to regret anything but bro phrase it differently

[ria ⭑ @rialmond]

“i’m gonna recover-“ no i just got fat and not happier. i’m back guys :3