C's Get Degrees

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Wake up too hungover to go to church every Sunday. Hope they serve alcohol in hell

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Did you really go to a concert if you didn't post 209 videos on your story

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Chick-fil-a: "My pleasure!!"

McDonald's: "You welcome..."

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January: "I'm going to make straight A's this semester"

May:

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I get a new iPhone every year but have had the same alarm clock since I was 8

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Me in Uber: "please stop speaking to me"

Drunk me: "I think she was the one Steve"

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Tinder must be the most deleted and redownloaded app in history

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If I spent $30,000 to go to Italy for 6 weeks I probably wouldn't shut up about it either, but it's still annoying

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Leg workouts are a semi-annual endeavor for me

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Okay maybe I was drunk last night

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"Hi, my name is Kyle and I would rather have a root canal than tell the class a fun fact about myself"

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I didn't buy cheap beer to drink responsibly

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Spending the holidays with family:

*Emptying trash at night*

Grandpa: "You know when I was your age I had to walk 5 miles barefoot to empty the trash and it was uphill both ways!"

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Her: "I want a guy who lives life on the edge"

Me:

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University cop: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Me: "Because I was going 4 mph over the speed limit and you have nothing better to do"

[C's Get Degrees @cs_get_degrees]

It's almost that time again for me to pretend I'm going to make all A's and get a six pack this semester

[C's Get Degrees @cs_get_degrees]

No one would run a marathon, travel abroad, or invest in bitcoin if confidentiality agreements were a requirement

[C's Get Degrees @cs_get_degrees]

Parents: "Don't slack off...it's your last semester of college"

Me: "I've had senioritis since high school"

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January: buys textbooks for $837

May: sells textbooks for $11.32

[C's Get Degrees @cs_get_degrees]

FAFSA in a nutshell: "Why can't your middle-class parents just sell their private jet and yacht to pay for college?"