Chris Simons

Daytonati's Finest

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A breakfast counter. The waitress recommended the biscuits and gravy, and when the plate arrived, I thought something had gone wrong in the kitchen.

I say this with shame. The dish looked like a construction site after rain. Pale mounds. Gray ladle-fall. Speckles I could not identify.

In my land, the eye eats first. A meal is arranged like a garden. This meal was arranged like weather.

"Is it… finished?" I asked, carefully.

"Honey, that's what it looks like."

The man beside me was already eating his. He did not look up. "Just try it."

I am a man who has charged hillsides at dawn. I raised the fork. I tried it.

I must now formally apologize to the biscuits, the gravy, the waitress, the kitchen, and the entire breakfast tradition of the American South.

It was magnificent. Warm. Peppered. The biscuit drank the gravy the way a field drinks rain — THAT is why it is shaped like that, you fool — and every mound I had insulted was a soft fold of comfort that my homeland, in eight hundred years, never once thought to invent.

"Well?" the waitress asked.

"I judged it," I confessed. "By its appearance. I am ashamed."

"Everybody does, hon."

Everybody does. A national dish that forgives you for doubting it. It expects the doubt. It waits for you on the other side of it.

Do not judge the gravy by its face. Judge yourself, for hesitating.

I order it every Saturday now. I no longer see the construction site. I see only the garden.

It was a garden the whole time. The eye must be trained.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Raven @raven_brah]

I got more enjoyment out of this clip than Villeneuve’s Dune films

[Pardon My Take @PardonMyTake]

SAINT LOUIS AND DAYTON WHAT AN ENDING

MARCH

[Premier League Champions @CokeSipper]

Whiplash style movie about a dad training his dumb bitch daughter for the Dr Pepper challenge

[ppigg @s4m31p4n]

CIA interrogator: Did you make the Yuletide gay, answer me

Me: *spitting blood* Fuck you

[College Basketball Content @CBBcontent]

Happy Thanksgiving

[Shrek @Shrek]

Can't today, I'm swamped.

[Coach Kam @KamChance513]

And it’s gonna be “our pleasure” whooping y’all ass

[Matt Neglia @NextBestPicture]

When they see me at the afterparty

[emily @em_witt_17]

i love cincinnati because a guy posted a tiktok saying “if you live in cincinnati & go to a non-commercialized gym let me know in the comments” and someone went “jungle jim’s”

[InSession Film @InSessionFilm]

The incredible 28 YEARS LATER is available on digital and we have 5 digital codes to giveaway! Like and repost this post to enter.

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Iowa fans watching a QB complete a 5 yard pass

[Culture Crave 🍿 @CultureCrave]

'Interstellar' score playing in the Cologne Cathedral

• Performed by organist Anna Lapwood

• Over 13K people tried to attend the concert

🎥 therealnaomisophia | TikTok

[Lindsay Patterson @LndsPatterson]

QB1.

[Dom2K @Dom_2k]

This might be the funniest graphic ever

[Le'Veon Bell @LeVeonBell]

if alcohol damages your short term memory imagine what alcohol can do

[Julian @Asghoull]

😭😭😭😭😭

[kp @YaHateTwoSeeIt]

The Haliban is fucking insane