Christen Sussin

fun at parties

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

Beware! A dirty bird hacked me - don’t open any of the nonsense with my name on it. LIES! Sorry friends. Password changed.

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

All I want for Christmas, and I mean THE ONLY THING, are those chicken socks

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

.@McConnellPress @speakerpelosi Your inaction is killing us. Create policies that protect our planet and our communities before it's too late. The climate crisis is a human issue. https://t.co/RVOReU1Kzn

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

I am addicted to videos of women demonstrating how to tie scarves. It keeps me on a razor’s edge of hope and longing.

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

I really feel like a Gravity Blanket would solve my soul's longing. I would get under it and never emerge. Press on me!

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

#FireBannon #FireBannon #FireBannon

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

In my dream my husband was Meryl Streep being abducted. She/he swallowed her wedding rings to poop them out later as evidence. Makes sense.

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

How many bracelets is Matt Lauer going to wear with his suit until he feels like we can really "see" him? Matt's truth/leather and silver.

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

I want a casual brown purse a lady with taste might carry, but every time I try to hold one I look like a rigid she creature with crazy face

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

Whenever I go out to a fancy dinner, I wonder what wry Law and Order style things the pathologist will say at my autopsy.

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

Can someone explain Skrillex to me? Is it just Corey Feldman doing a character?

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

There is no part of me that wants to spend time in a hot air balloon or even look at one. People that do, like tapioca and smooth jazz.

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

Uh-oh. I ate all the spicy kimchi and now my intestines sound like an escalator covered in glass and flaming roller skates.

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

Holy Cracks. I have just discovered The National and Daredevil. If you need me, I'll be pole vaulting around town on my lady boner.

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

@shanenickerson git it! #entrailsbackwheretheybelong

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

After this hernia surgery I'm about four five seconds from wildin' #stir crazy #40yroldwomanshiz

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

I just ate a jar or banana peppers and then drank the neon green brine. Tell my family I loved them.

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

Husband, wearing daughter's Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker, kissed me and ran off. Now he and child are harmonizing with electric toothbrush. Life.

[Christen Sussin @csussin]

@LucyWrubel we are loving "Do You Hear..." Thank you for the freshest Christmas joy!