Jesse

not a fan of speed limits or serving sizes

[Jesse @ctrlaltdelorean]

Happy Rey Mysterio Day to all who celebrate 🇲🇽

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Jay Black @jayblackisfunny]

A collection of the dumbest dudes you knew from high school felt emasculated when a black man got elected president, so, to compensate, we now have a semi-sentient pig’s stomach in a red hat starting an illegal war to distract the country from all the sex crimes he committed.

[Jesse @ctrlaltdelorean]

@TruckBon Why pick only five?

Rodgers $1
LT $2 + Barkley $1
JJ $2 + Chase $2 + Hill $3
Gonzalez $1 + Sharpe $3

HOF-bound MVP QB w/ an elite arm
Two dual-threat MVP-caliber RBs
Three elite WRs
Two HOF TEs

Mix & match offensive schemes all day, no one is stopping this

[Jesse @ctrlaltdelorean]

are we sure Hailee Steinfeld isn’t a honeypot sent by the Chiefs

[alex brasky @alexbrasky]

Josh Allen, speaking with ESPN on what his wife, Hailee Steinfeld, has taught him: “Maybe I am more than a football player.”

[Goku @Goku]

No words can take pain away from tragedy. Thoughts and prayers are nice but only action brings about change.

Be better to each other.

My heart goes out to the victims of the Evergreen, Colorado school shooting.

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

know logically that they’re not but backflips rlly feel like a new invention. simply cant picture a dude in a powdered wig doing one

[noah @noahsolomon]

I think it's sad none of these applications will ever be built again.

I no longer want cleverly packaged utility. I want silliness and whimsy delivered through convoluted high skill ceiling bloatware if that's not too much to ask for

[doxie @doxie_gay]

ppl forget there was no glasses when a lot of myths and biblical stories were written…mfs had astigmatism talkin about there’s an angel right there 😹😹😹

[Browningtons @Browningtons_]

Its 7/11/25, blessed date

[☔ @Whotfismick]

Returning from a good trip and realizing it’s jus a memory now

[Jesse @ctrlaltdelorean]

@TeamYouTube The channel is barely a month old? And that still doesn’t answer my question of why only EU countries are listed during the ID verification process.

[Jesse @ctrlaltdelorean]

@TeamYouTube I can’t verify my ID for advanced features because it only lists EU countries? I’m based in the US. I previously verified via video for this exact reason, but the verification was deleted yesterday since it “was no longer needed.” Apparently not? Please assist.

[Governor Tim Walz @GovTimWalz]

Goodbye, my friend.

[Brendan Hodges @metaplexmovies]

THE DARK KNIGHT becoming less beloved by a segment of film fans, especially Gen Z and younger, is utterly incomprehensible to the typical millennial mind. When it released in IMAX in ‘08, most of us thought we saw God. It’s an interesting indicator of changing tastes over time.

[Jesse @ctrlaltdelorean]

@Apple getting real fucking tired of a) only one AirPod charging in the case and b) getting locked out of my phone because it evidently input my passcode wrong too many times IN MY POCKET

[lex @lexlisbon]

it sucks that no one enjoys board games these days. no one wants to play 3 hours of monopoly anymore

[Del @TheCartelDel]

Just learned that Drew Struzan can no longer paint anymore, as his Alzheimer's has progressed. What an incredible legacy that captured every generation...