Cuddle Goblin

shitposter

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

when i feel unwell i always book a one day guest pass at the most expensive nearby spa, and throw up in the pool.

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

kinda sad how cities in china dont have a "chinatown" section like western cities do, they missing out

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

room temperature beer

medicine that cannot be taken with grapefruit

grapefruit

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

If I eat the hair on the barbershop floor is that vegan or no??

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

Heres a ticktock challenge for you, eat some dang vegetables and do your homework

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

These self driving cars prove my theory that being too sober while driving is just as dangerous as being too drunk

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

@newscientist my microwave just seems to make food hot

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

@DailyMirror when i pass, i hope to be lightly poached and then turned into feed pellets for goats.

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

@newscientist they should make it twice the size so they can also keep their lunch inside

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

@ScienceNews doing my best to help, checking all around the house, didnt find any yet

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

@DiscussingFilm seems like everyone just wants to make crass jokes instead of congratulating the mummy pig.. have a little class

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

@Independent grandpa told me that butter cows sink but milk cows float

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

@WSJ the brain is the strongest muscle in the body

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

@SkyNews they lost too many pounds

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

@newscientist i got banned from cheshire zoo for exposing myself in the reptile house

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

@lakeboss nascar put the first man on the moon now they just drink beer

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

@messedupfoods A Pina Colada contains:

-Rum
-Cream of coconut
-Pineapple
-Ice

Clearly the customer just wants a heavier ratio of cream of coconut, not sure why everyone is struggling with this.

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

@SkyNewsBreak couldn't have been him, he was at my house that day

[Cuddle Goblin @cuddle_goblin]

@DailyMirror article says to keep them submerged in a bucket of yellow paint