curtis

[curtis @CurtisFarrell07]

@SheilCooper Are you talking about sucking dongs again coop

[Midwest vs. The Rest @midwestern_ope]

Midwest dads:

gets bill at restaurant: "what’s the damage”

tightens strap on back of truck: “that’s not going anywhere”

flips over a piece of meat on the grill: “oh yeah that’s money right there”

asked what time it is: “time for you to get a watch”

answers the phone: “YELLO”

[bobby wasabi @bobbyteriyaki]

we went out to eat and the waitress called me an insufferable bitch and spit in my face so my 6 month old infant spoke his first words and said ‘we ordered the Filet Mignon blue rare with a side of caviar, not your attitude’ 😂

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Technically, alcohol is a solution

[madds @maddie_turk]

@waterhouse__ This just made me realize how fucking stupid my friends actually are

[curtis @CurtisFarrell07]

@dan_levick @_JoshBurnside @potterkurtis Your a stupid fuck one of those midgets would fuck your day and you’d cry like a bitch on debatably the greatest show of television history

[Chase Cotter @ChaseCotter]

Picture this a Saturday night and you get a lapper and fall in love with a big tit Latina.... perfect night in my books 📚

[John McAfee @officialmcafee]

Let's drop science for a moment and assume we know nothing of thermodynamics - which I find questionable in any case - and someone shows you a thermos bottle. Put hot stuff in - stays hot. Cold stuff - stays cold. First question in my mind would be: "How the fuck does it know?"

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Sew one button, doesn't make u a tailor; cook one meal, doesn't make u a chef; but f* one horse and u r a horsef*er for all of history...

[curtis @CurtisFarrell07]

@ChaseCotter the way she goes chaz

[Chase Cotter @ChaseCotter]

Fuckibg pop me in a he jaw you pussy lets go 😜

[Chase Cotter @ChaseCotter]

First time at the strippers all I can say is nice 👍

[MilfLover69 @Adam_Derpin]

ur telling me a flea runs this market

[jen merritt!!! @jennifermerr]

a goat taking a scantron test

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[curtis @CurtisFarrell07]

@_JoshBurnside @waterhouse__ I would sell you off to sex traffickers for a bag of stepped on rice thin crackers

[curtis @CurtisFarrell07]

@waterhouse__ The gorilla 😂😂