beberapa hari lalu gue selesai baca buku dan doi langsung nanya “did you finish it? tell me everything about it.” sambil tepuk-tepuk kasur. akhirnya gue yapping 20 menit tentang buku itu sampe ketiduran. he doesn’t like reading books, but he listens :3
ternyata gw blm se-mature itu buat explaining why do i get so disappointed, why do i feel like u dont appreciate me enough, why do i feel like im worthless, keep wondering "w/o my body & money, would people still be around me?", and why are u so inconsiderate
i love when you read a book and you become so emotionally invested in it, and when you walk around public places after reading it you feel like you’re in this bubble by yourself, like you’re so deeply inside your mind you’re actually out of touch with reality.
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you, [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you, [looking at myself] it's over.
“But you survived” I disassociate, like a lot. My heart drops when someone raises their voice. I shut down very easily. And I'm far too observant. I always feel like a burden. I isolate often. But yeah, sure, I guess I survived.
so cruel yet so fascinating how you'll have to literally rewire your brain after a certain event while the other person goes on to live their life completely unaffected