Colin Houlson

Journalist.

[Colin Houlson @cvh2009]

@Backpainandwine Couldn't agree more. The problem isn't the kids, it's shit parents.

[Hugh Grant @HackedOffHugh]

Dear Visitors to the UK, I apologise for the way you are treated on arrival. Terminal 3 Heathrow just now was a disgrace and inhumane. I’m afraid we have the worst Home Secretary in British history.

[Colin Houlson @cvh2009]

@drsimonwoodward @supertanskiii Yes, he's full of shit

[Colin Houlson @cvh2009]

@prodnose Still hoping to see Chelsea's Isthmian League fixtures

[Private Eye Magazine @PrivateEyeNews]

Keir oh dear: the team of Daily Mail hacks who were caught flouting very clear covid rules with a booze-up of their own last year, revealed in the brand new Private Eye, on sale today.

[Colin Houlson @cvh2009]

@RalfLittle They don't so much walk as slither, with their knuckles dragging

[Pete Paphides @petepaphides]

I’m so glad I don’t know Jurgen Klopp, because if I did, I can’t say with absolute certainty that I wouldn’t embarrass myself like Rick does in The Young Ones when he gets a pair of yellow dungarees like the ones worn by his sociology lecturer.

[Peter Stefanovic @PeterStefanovi2]

A serving Prime Minister, twice sacked for lying, who misled the Queen, unlawfully suspended Parliament & has been fined for breaking the law whilst in office is now being investigated by Privileges Committee for possible contempt of House of Commons. How the hell did we get here

[Colin Houlson @cvh2009]

@AliceAshton7 @siobhanfreya @DeborahMeaden I think visiting the Uk is his holiday. But he'd deny that I'm sure. 'The UK is, like, my home, dude. It's awesome'

[Colin Houlson @cvh2009]

@DeborahMeaden I'm sure he had to check with Nanny first

[Ralf Little 💙 @RalfLittle]

@blisswords Ah, finally, THIS is the kind of idiot I was hoping to bait! Stop talking shite Imelda. Ridiculous.

[Colin Houlson @cvh2009]

@petepaphides Really enjoyed your book btw. And what is David Holmes, Noel? #ChoppedLiverForever Noel's records with DH are significantly different. Dare I say, a collaborative effort

[Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی @ShappiKhorsandi]

I knew this would happen. I've promised myself I won't stoop to replying, but just this once if I may...It was 400m we OWED. Don't act like you, personally are out of pocket you horror of a person. 'Cost us' indeed. She IS us!

[Armando Iannucci @Aiannucci]

Good morning

[Danny Baker @prodnose]

Chelsea fans. If your team got sanctioned and relegated down three divisions - would you still go?
If yes - then what are you complaining about?
If no - then jog on mate, another glamour squad will be along soon.

[Danny Baker @prodnose]

There cannot be a single Chelsea fan who did not know that the money funding their club was 100% moody. Of course it was.
I get that they didn't care - but the current "hurt and offended" take at everyone pointing this out is fucking hilarious!

[Dawn French 💙🔴🏳️‍🌈🇺🇦🇵🇸 @Dawn_French]

This is who I’m thinking about on International Womens Day today

[Sleaford Mods @sleafordmods]

Fuckin hell, Patel is a bastard.

[James O'Brien @mrjamesob]

They lied about the 'threat' posed by refugees.
They are lying about the 'help' offered to refugees.
They shame us all.

[Gary Lineker @GaryLineker]

Fuck off.