lil spicy

you look like i need a drink • she/her ♐️ ♏️ ♒️

[lil spicy @d0mecoach]

why did my parents keep a news article about a high school fist fight i got into like it’s a family heirloom

[elizabeth 🪢 @OneFeIISwoop]

thread of all the screenshots in the article because i hate the government and love the truth

[lil spicy @d0mecoach]

@tv_eye489 he ain’t do shit

[lil spicy @d0mecoach]

nothing brings a family closer together quite like your parent and yourself both having court appearances within an hour of one another with the same judge for different matters lol

[lil spicy @d0mecoach]

mindlessly answered the work phone “thank you for calling cosentino, this is ashley, can i hold you?” instead of asking them to hold.

i just hung up

[lil spicy @d0mecoach]

it’s me, bitch. i’m the one keeping arbys in business

[lil spicy @d0mecoach]

adhd and making lists for everything, all the time have to go hand in hand. they just have to

[lil spicy @d0mecoach]

remember when like thousands of people wrote in “harambe” during the 2016 presidential election

[lil spicy @d0mecoach]

a colleague i truly cannot stand emailed the whole team proposing a “biggest loser” type of contest and it’s taking everything inside of me to not reply “you already won that one, you goofy fuck”

[Trader ZeroCool @BillyRaeSirus]

@BigBird ARE YOU HAPPY?! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?!

[Big Bird @BigBird]

Uh oh! Does anyone know how to make me big Big Bird again?

[lil spicy @d0mecoach]

asked my dentist if detectives have ever come to this fine establishment to obtain dental records for forensics/ body identification. he pulled down his mask and told me “twice within 18 years” without being phased lmao

[@RollieColey67 @smoothietfb]

just found an old text with my sister after zayn left 1D

[lil spicy @d0mecoach]

@larsontattoos Happy belated cap king!!! 111

[lil spicy @d0mecoach]

slammed my hand on the kitchen table and my fake nail went flying. i’m wailing in pain and all my dad could get out was “fuckin disgusting” lmao

[Out of Context Human Race @NoContextHumans]

https://t.co/rtixoDR18f

[lil spicy @d0mecoach]

my parents disclosed to me on christmas that i was infatuated with the oklahoma city bombing after seeing it on the news when i was four years old. explains a lot

[lil spicy @d0mecoach]

if ur a man and yr reading this, speak up. i’m straining trying to hear your mumbling ass

[Corn ✧⍣ @cornski]

fart gon change the atmosphere of the earth