Dickie

I hate tractors

[Dickie @d1ky_]

Also can someone pick me up from the zoo?

[Dickie @d1ky_]

Biggest design flaw in ostriches is their skinny necks, you can strangle 7 at a time. don’t ask how I know

[Dickie @d1ky_]

There’s a huge party at the orphanage tonight, their parents are gone!

[Dickie @d1ky_]

@JackDenley58 I’d go

[Dickie @d1ky_]

Got offered a $1 raise at work today, turned it down. Why would I want to pay more taxes?

[Dickie @d1ky_]

Whenever I forget a word I say "I forget the English word for it" that way people think I'm bilingual instead of an idiot.

[Dickie @d1ky_]

If dentists make money off people with bad teeth, why would I use tooth paste 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?

[Dickie @d1ky_]

If I weigh 99 pounds and eat 1 pound of nachos am I 1% nachos?

[Dickie @d1ky_]

Can a teacher give a homeless kid homework??

[Dickie @d1ky_]

Can a crip donate blood?

[Dickie @d1ky_]

Lately my dog thinks he's the boss recently, so I've been shitting on his shit to remind him who the boss really is #woof

[Dickie @d1ky_]

Damn everybody has birthdays this year, WTF!

[Dickie @d1ky_]

I don't get why when people eat raw fish it's "hip" and "cool" but when I eat raw ground beef I'm "disgusting" and "going to get salmonella"

[Dickie @d1ky_]

Nothing worse than picking the handicap stall for elbow room and then having a dude in a wheel chair not be able to hold it long enough

[Dickie @d1ky_]

Ugh never really a good sign when you see an ambulance pull out of the dump

[Dickie @d1ky_]

Cried at the dentist today but at least they thought it was because of them

[Dickie @d1ky_]

@thereald1ky this is awkward. I'm the real Dickgel...

[Dickie @d1ky_]

#MagicMonday

[Dickie @d1ky_]

"No" - Rosa Parks

[Dickie @d1ky_]

I asked my dad to plant a bread tree in our yard, later I heard him and my mom talking about "sending me back"