When I try to enter a state of contrition I experience a terrible burning clench along my cervical spine. There is a hand made of fire which grips the nape of my neck and I know that whatever grace may have been afforded me is running short.
@DistractedAnna Oh, I know why! Let me explain. It’s all the women coming out of the woodwork to cry “but what if our husbands want to have SEX with us after we make out? Eeeeewwww!”
Worst case scenario she gets some sadistic pleasure from your disappointment and this activates her demon mode where she will be as cruel to you as possible because she’s learned she loves it.
Or she’ll go on Twitter and call you a rapist to all her egirl friends.
A bonus secret emotional labor of husbands in a sexless marriage is hiding your disappointment. Not only do you have to make her feel better for not having sex with you, you almost have to thank her for it. If she catches a whiff of disappointment from you, she’ll hold out longer
Best case scenario she gets all mopey and pouty that you’re disappointed and you have to put out a week’s worth of gifts and little trips and very calm “yes babe I understand yes ur valid yes I love you so much” conciliatory pillow talk.
I love fantasizing about all the places in the world but I am utterly terrified of my wife wanting to actually go there. I want her to dutifully, and with my emotions centered, fantasize about going places with me but under no circumstances will we actually go.
“Without fear of it leading to more” is the kicker here.
What’s the role reversed equivalent of this? Buying a plane ticket to a place she really wants to go, then ripping it up in front of her?
Making batter for her favorite cake then dumping it?
it's actually a great idea to make out and cuddle every night before bed with zero pressure of it leading to sex.
people's intimacy would improve tenfold if women felt safe doing this without fear of it always turning into more and someone getting mad if you don't want to!
@nixonist@st_louis_stan I like the way this is phrased because it suggests there is such a thing as being “in the mood” to satisfy a woman’s emotional needs
@shekelmanc64@gothamshitty “Romance” is when a guy she’s been fantasizing about takes her out on a coffee date (picture Victorian umbrellas and handkerchiefs) and he is Just So Charming and Nice To Her and Buys Her Little Cakes. This is what romance is & it’s the purpose of a marriage.
@gothamshitty The “veil of romance which shrouds marriage” doesn’t exist. You’re thinking of the princess stories they tell children. For all of history it has been explicit what marriage is for: the controlled release of male sexuality.