David Hasselhoff

hoff crazy about addison rae

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

chances are you’re looking at my profile to troll me. why don’t you stop being a little punk on csgo. while i do your mom you toxic jerk. btw you ain’t ♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎ and have a tiny penis. die in a fire virgin.

[reyna cervantes @Jfcdoomblade]

Can’t believe Amazon has the OBSESSION sequel already and no one is talking about it.

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

i wish i had a job where. icould wear a cute little boatneck tank and a low rise mini skirt and cutie platforms and put my hair up all clipped back. anyway i am seeing obsession in theatres again tonight

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

i love that video of like 20 celebrities reacting to alessia cara because everyone else they’ve put in the video to react are like a-lister musicians and movie stars and also taran killam from snl too

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

they’re turning me into fossil fuels later with the amount of petroleum jelly ive eaten today

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

ok thank GOD . thank god. movie theater one town over still playing obsession. can you say monday solo movie night for this guy . can you say that?

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

i miss the ellen ride. i miss the ellen ride. i would consider disney world if they still had the ellen ride.

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

when it’s time to stop laying on the floor and listening to the humming

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

$200 paycheck ayyyy #wegettinglittonite

[!SCREAMY @screamy10101]

OMG...

Peter Griffin stuns in the "Emerald Chicks" Campaign with Four peters in green !

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

@Freddy15Bears yuck what if they have something like a disease all over the fries ew

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

how does little caesars turn a profit

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

hello hollywood reporter. would you consider tumblr? there’s a good story there about a strong asexual at a coffee shop standing up to bigotry that i think would sell in our society

[The Hollywood Reporter @THR]

'Backrooms' Sends Hollywood Running to Reddit for New Ideas https://t.co/eLMvyQCMpI

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

millennial boss guilt tripping me over email for trying to talk to him like a normal person

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

milennial boss never know how to talk normallly. why can we not have a conversation that is just normal. must you email speak me always

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

i am loving that ugly shoe is the movement at the moment. i do not love the little tennis shoes with no laces and the holes in them. those are ugly as fuck and if you are wearing them i assume you’re a cop

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

horror movie idea:
oh. um.. crap. i actually didn’t have one prepared. i didn’t think i’d be put on the spot like this

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

imagine not liking me and im just here singing chippy dippy dopey duck 😂😂😋

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

if you are a girl at a karaoke bar, you can sing any creed song and everyone will lose their minds. "how does she know that?" sing even flow by pearl jam. "thats boy song. cool girl."

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

the last thing you need EVER is a car wash. cleaning the inside is all. the outside will get dirty forever and nobody is seeing your clean car and remarking how cool and clean it is.

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

@calicosmall erm.. not. now. rowan. *pulling on my collar* you'll give it away

[David Hasselhoff @d4vidhasselhoff]

am i doing a good job being anonymous irl oomfs?