Dory

22/05/22 🕊️

[sammm ☆ @onlysammms]

there's this belief buried deep inside me that i can't date anyone until i've become the absolute best version of myself. first i need the career. then the body. then the confidence. then the life plan. and only after all that, i'm finally allowed to be loved.

[Nick. @BeeeNICK]

Yall forgot that actual fun isn't always aesthetically pleasing and that's why yall not having any.

[Trash boat⛵️😋 @chibuikssss]

The other day I was in keke and Ndlea was doing stop and search then the other guy in the keke with me was making a video then the ndlea people bundled him in their car and the other people in the keke were saying it’s good for him for making video. It was at the moment I realized I was surrounded by monkeys and there’s no hope for us

[Jesi @jesidamina]

Not to be that person, but our literary/visual understanding of romantic expressions as Africans are very much defined by white standards. Yes, even in love, we are colonised.

Otherwise what concerns an African woman with hair tucking? Her Afro (or braids) don’t move that way 😭

[Ciarán @androgynator]

your critique of ai cannot be entrenched in aesthetics because there will be a time when you see an ai image or hear an ai song and think "that looks/sounds good". your critique of ai must always be entrenched in the poisonous effect it has on people's brains and the planet.

[Sai Ishaya @Sai_Ishaya_]

Look how long it took him: 2 full days, for a journey of roughly 780 kmm.

For context, the same distance in the UK (roughly London to Edinburgh and a bit beyond) takes 7–8 hours on proper dual carriageways.

Guess how much it would actually cost to fix every major dilapidated stretch on this corridor properly?

Meanwhile, the APC government has already sunk over $780 million (₦1.067 trillion) into just the first 47 km of a multi-lane coastal highway that currently leads to Bikini Bottom… and the full 700 km project is projected to cost $11–13 billion.

There are educated people with PhDs defending this absurdity on this app in 2026, all because of corn.

[Fada Ameh @Fadasly]

FCT Waterboard @fctwb,
It is 4 days now that there has been no water in all of Wuse and parts of Utako, Jabi and Wuye. And it has been loud silence from your end like it is normal. What is going on mbok?

[kb @ojvhteuhyhes]

i have been thinking about this all day lmao

[Elnathan John @elnathan_john]

I will always say this: South Africa is bad, and a terrible place for other black people but Nigeria has zero moral credibility in this issue. Nigeria is just as violent, if not more violent, just as corrupt, just as full of xenophobia (the only difference being they kill and discriminate against each other), just as full of hate and dysfunction.

Yes as a person of Nigerian descent I am afraid of South Africa, but I am even more afraid of Nigeria. As Nigerians accuse South Africans, they should also look inward at the unbelievable rot in their own country, beyond just their inept government. Nigeria is certainly not a better place than South Africa.

These two countries are a stain on Africa and their leaders are equally clueless, corrupt and incapable of dealing with the deep seated problems of their citizens. Both countries which should be at the forefront of fighting for Africa's place in the world are instead chief drivers of every negative stereotype of Africans. Until these two countries fix themselves and stop looking for scapegoats inside and outside their countries, the reputation of Africa in the world will continue getting worse.

[ThatPortharcourtBoy aka Nnukwu Nmanwu @ThatPHCBoy]

even if you want to do it willingly, a hill i will die on is that someone who loves you will not allow you do certain things for them, even if you want to.

[Ụlọma @ulxma]

Yes lmao. People genuinely think liking someone is enough to commit to them when it’s just one variable among many. What about trust, safety, values, communication styles, conflict management, stability, long-term goals… even hygiene… like hello???

[Kid Cancer @hologeist]

Ok this shit is a banger 😂 I can’t even hate on it.

[Abiodun @bin_gbada]

That’s $17 million.

This is a state with no pipe-borne water for its 5.5 million residents.

[kage @sukikage_]

every day is literally just me distracting myself until the next day

[the pressure @larabillionaire]

Gentle parenting isn’t the absence of discipline. It’s simply parenting with empathy and training with reasonable consequences.

[Alex Onyia @winexviv]

I just learned that under Ghana’s Free Senior High School policy, the government pays the WASSCE registration fees for every student in public schools.

Then I looked at Nigeria, where WAEC and NECO fees have just increased.

I’m struggling to understand the logic.

Nigeria has one of the largest populations of out-of-school children in the world.

Thousands of children drop out every year because their families simply cannot keep up with the cost of education.

Education is under attack in Nigeria and we have to fight back.

[Onyeka ☭ @R_eq_uin]

The obsession of some leftists with textbook dogma instead of material reality is annoying.

Because if you lift your nose up from Das Kapital for one minute you'll realize that textbook communist dogma in Nigeria dissolves like piss in a pond the moment it touches reality.

You want to tell a poor Yoruba market woman in Oshodi to rise up against Otedola and Tinubu because something something "they are your enemies" something something.

You want them to ignore daddy Adeboye's latest warning that anybody preaching the things you're telling her is satanic and wants to prevent her from reaching heaven.

You want them to put aside their lifelong prejudice against "omo yibo" and "awon Fulani yen" to organize with you to Aso Rock screaming at the top of their lungs.

Mr. Man you are wasting your bloodydamn time.

NIGERIANS DO NOT HAVE THE FOUNDATIONS FOR CLASS CONSCIOUSNESS.

A destitute slippers repairer in Yobe will side with Mallam Yobe senator that used his 2026 Escalade to splash mud water on him before he joins your hammer and sickle club.

If you like don't treat Nigerians like they're retarded (we are), and impose your nationalist ideas on them like a parent force feeding a child crucial medicine, you will see shege. You will cry blood.

The only way we're making it out the 2030s is if a team of patriots seize power and whip the rest of the country in line, Stalin style.

Fuck the proletariat.

They're dumb fucks (including me), and are collectively too stupid to count to two.

The masses will find a way hang themselves if you give them half a yard of rope without supervision.

I'm from the South South and I know what I am saying.

My people will frustrate your life and can even threaten to kill you if you try to build public infrastructure in rural areas without greasing the palms of every tribal leader lucid enough to wear a cheap iron crown.

If you want to build a free water pump you must bribe like 5 egbon adugbos and two chiefs.

These bumbling idiots don't give an ounce of a shit about your class consciousness.

The people you want them to see as enemies are the people they aspire to be like.

Good luck trying to convince a random Ijaw villager to revolt against Asari Dokubo.

UNTIL YOU CHANGE the material realities of Nigerians, you have ZERO hope of getting them to organize around anything.

They will just fuck things up.

So you have to force them to be sensible.

End of my disjointed rant.

[Sugabelly 🌕 @sugabelly]

I don’t think I will ever get over let alone forgive the way ChatGPT, Grok, Claude, and other AI systems have emboldened stupid, unintelligent, uneducated, and uninformed people to challenge intelligent, well educated people who actually have expertise in the subject matter, and enabled them to falsely pose as experts on the topic when they are so utterly ignorant of what they are arguing about, that they are completely unable to recognise, let alone identify, how whatever rubbish they’ve got in their AI screenshot after asking a hopelessly leading question, is wrong.

[Kalu Aja @FinPlanKaluAja1]

Where is my surprised face?

[Abiodun @bin_gbada]

How do I tell people that Prince Adeyemi’s case with Gbaja is a tip of the iceberg in our federal budget?

The National commission for the Almajiri and Out of School Children Education situated in Abuja will spend 1,400,000,000 ($1.1m) on “Rehabilitation & Construction of Obasanjo-Itele Road & Idogo Township road” in faraway Ogun state”

🤦🏽‍♂️