David Tomlin

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@Diablo #DiabloBloodHarvestSweepstakes @am

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@Walmart and now my kid doesn't have a seat he fits in.

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@Walmart Yeah, except your store didn't honor those hours, and another I called said 9 as well. Now, I'm out $30 in gas

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@Walmart, I drive 45 minutes to pick up site to store order you emailed me would be available until 10. They say that closes at 9.

[Windows @Windows]

Snap your #Windows #apps to get more done. RT for a chance to win an ASUS T100. http://t.co/HlyOGUNtq3 #sweeps

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@DawsAngeles @adamcarolla thank god for that 18 seconds

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@altonbrown previous judges as contestants would be a great #CutThroatKitchen episode

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@AndyRichter if they want to be they are. There's no need for you to be smug about everything

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@BobbyBigWheel and Eli thinks protege are those fancy painted not Easter eggs

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@jazayerli loved your card/ender article. Beautiful personal writing about a beautiful book/series and the confusing state of the author.

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@SarahThyre @AndyRichter Christ Andy, we get it.you're trying to fuck her. No one cares

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@automatikben that is ALL OF the more important. I'm more of a lavender man, but for #frotstrong I'll find some orchid that fucks now

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@automatikben SO AWARE #FROTSTRONG. What's the ribbon color for uniball?

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@curtisbeast just read your Stokes story. Thank you, it was beautiful.

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@adamcarolla @Mythuglife didn't remember it. YouTube'd. Possibly the worst song ever

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@czabe 4th quarter, its Tebow Time!

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@adamcarolla No health insurance #richmanpoorman

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@adamcarolla Police escorts. #richmanpoorman

[David Tomlin @d_tomlin]

@adamcarolla Working from home #RichManPoorMan

[Peter King @peter_king]

RT @R_Hickle: You just spit out random crap that means NOTHING! ... I get paid pretty well for doing it too. I love America.