Derek Uhlman

I’ll cook you food, call you beautiful, and ...

[Derek Uhlman @d_uhlman]

Mfs go on a walk down their street for the first time in ten years and say “Felt spiritual today so I enjoyed nature” 🤦🏻‍♂️

[Derek Uhlman @d_uhlman]

🔥 🔥 🔥

[Derek Uhlman @d_uhlman]

Fuck. Come forward.

[Derek Uhlman @d_uhlman]

Paid for both 🤷🏻‍♂️

[drewski 🏌🏽 @daddyyydreww]

i may not have airpods but i got straight teeth

[Derek Uhlman @d_uhlman]

@realDonaldTrump ... there you go @gamboslice you happy

[Derek Uhlman @d_uhlman]

If you don’t do this you’re a psychopath

[Latrell @Latrellnorm]

Am I the only one who stops the microwave at 1 second to avoid that loud beep lol

[Derek Uhlman @d_uhlman]

🤔🤔🤔 .... where dafuq have you been bruh 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Isaiah Simmons @isaiahsimmons25]

Can I get one of these?👀 @CityofOlatheKS

[Derek Uhlman @d_uhlman]

That’s not a weird confession... We all do that

[Vine Memories @VineMemories_]

I masturbate just cause i'm bored and have nothing else to do sometimes

[Tyler M. @Rodeo2010Tyler]

Vodka Red Bull’s every. Single. time.

[Derek Uhlman @d_uhlman]

THUNDER ONLY HAPPENS WHEN IT’S RAININNNNNNN!!!

[emi @e_luzive]

“you can’t even dance to Fleetwood Mac”
me, an intellectual:

[Derek Uhlman @d_uhlman]

We created basketball

[CFB Home @CFBHome]

Without naming Your State... What is Your State known for?

[Derek Uhlman @d_uhlman]

2019 and still staying up way too late 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Derek Uhlman @d_uhlman]

#ChiefsKindgom

[NFL @NFL]

You ready? #NFLPlayoffs https://t.co/I4HpE4YZup

[Derek Uhlman @d_uhlman]

Some of y’all trying to find the clit

[Derek Uhlman @d_uhlman]

Marijuana

[Cindymonel™ @cindy_blog]

Who was consistently there for you this year?

[Derek Uhlman @d_uhlman]

@akaawadd Correct me if I’m wrong but pretty sure that’s broken 😂🤷🏻‍♂️