fallon iverson

cat mom and certified “true fan” of the Sixers per @dmorey - 👣 @clayvage

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

@anormalcollar Really out here living my truth

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

Microwaved them then added some ketchup, brown sugar, and a tiny bit of mustard…. AND IT FUCKIN WORKED!!! Minimal effort baked beans baby!!!

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

Bean Update: fuck my whole entire life I have to eat fuckin great northern beans tomorrow and Thursday!! What simple ass preparation do you do with those rat bastards???

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

I think it’s cool that David Lynch made a role for himself on Twin Peaks so he could just go around yelling.

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

They just said “great northern” on twin peaks!! Who told them I’m beaning?!

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

Microwaved them then added some ketchup, brown sugar, and a tiny bit of mustard…. AND IT FUCKIN WORKED!!! Minimal effort baked beans baby!!!

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

@ianfromphilly This is day 9 of trying to eat a cup of beans everyday and I’m learning which ways are easy and tasty and which ways fuckin blow

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

I know it’s become pretty cliche and cringey to talk about at this point but if you’re under like 25 I cannot stress enough how one time Obama wore a tan suit and people spent a week arguing over whether or not it was demeaning to the Oval Office and they were serious about it.

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

And I have a massage with hot stones booked for Friday night to let me body release any stress from this! 😮‍💨

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

I feel weirdly calm about it bc making the decision came with a lot of anxiety and then deciding how to get it to him also gave me anxiety so now it’s like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

@ChipReiderson I did so much stuff alone when I lived in Atlanta especially during grad school bc there were times when no one else was free and I wasn’t gonna not do stuff

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

hungry + no friends

[Kristina Bolten @Kristinartz]

People who eat alone at restaurants! what's the reason? 🤔 🍽️

[oh yes that’s vegan @ForeverElSanto]

YUCK ! im getting arby’s ✌🏻

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

Kind of crazy that allegedly every neighborhood I’ve lived in is filled with “horny milfs who want to fuck” and somehow I’ve never run into one.

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

Shooting it directly into the rim with such force that it bounces off and hits me in the head, killing me, and fulfilling the terms of the agreement.

[Moustache Scottie @MoustacheBarnes]

You’re offered the choice to take an uncontested, offhand layup for $100,000, but if you miss you die

Do you take the layup?

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

Just spent my lunch break NOT doing lunch time nap time bc my whole ass full adult married woman bestie needed help tracking down a picture of her AS A CHILD that I definitively know is on her phone bc I found it in a TikTok she made from fucking 2022. Anyways gonna beat her ass.

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

@crawf34 Nah unfortunately it’s pretty standard cat behavior but I will say the amount of puking has seriously gone down now that they can’t house their food as easily

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

I had to start putting my cats’ kibble into a slow feeder for dogs because they are gluttonous little carpet puking machines.

[big content guy @bigcontentguy]

feeding my obese son by hand like a capybara

[George Michael @GeorgeMichael]

I HAVE NEVER AND WILL NEVER APOLOGISE FOR MY SEX LIFE ! GAY SEX IS NATURAL, GAY SEX IS GOOD! NOT EVERYBODY DOES IT, BUT.....HA HA!

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

@camerooned_ @dsarizzle Let Cam and I know when and where to pull up and handle business

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

@emmcooper42

[fallon iverson @daFalligator]

I feel very maternal towards Carter Bryant.