dabbs

cinnamon girl

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

guys if we put antarctica in a hydro flask the icebergs literally will not melt

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

whoever hired an Etsy witch to curse me, can you just tell me so i can curse you back already?

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

critical (of myself) thinker

[ᴠᴏɢᴜᴇ ɢɪʀʟ ɢᴏɴᴇ ᴠᴀɢᴜᴇ @voguegirlsvague]

Lana Del Rey vibing to Summer Bummer while driving

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

covered in flea bites
because i got that dog in me

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

my friend just said i could totally be a hip hop dancer

so im starting to think she's actually not my friend

[LACEY 🎧 @freaklikemebaby]

how do you stop the thoughts

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

everyone thinks i'm so lax

no one knows its because i took two laxatives

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

kesha made me the lady I am today

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

i could never own an electric car because i don't even charge my phone

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

how my boyfriend and i sext:

him: you're so funny its so hot
me: i'm going to masturbate now

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

someone asked me what i like to do for fun and i said "talk"

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

telling people you're a standup comic is proven to be the most proactive form of birth control

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

I look like Lizzie McGuire if Disney Channel let her smoke a lot of weed

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

life imitates art

[Interesting things @awkwardgoogle]

Scientists in Costa Rica discovered a frog that looks just like Kermit the Frog

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

so bloated rn my waist beads are underboob beads

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

ok obviously I didn't taste the tampon, my pussy did

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

It's scientifically proven that the tampons you get from bathroom quarter machine taste like candy

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

It's scientifically proven that the tampons you get from bathroom quarter machine taste like candy

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

sometimes i miss the rush of working a food service job, but then i realize i actually just miss taking adderall

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

me in biblical times

me: *smoking weed*

religious mob: wicked woman STONE HER!

me: why yes I am a stoner

[dabbs @dabbiegalejr]

my boyfriend asked what's my favorite food and i said hot dogs