Dad and Forty

Let me share some perspective with ya

[Dad and Forty @dadandforty]

Check out my OnlyDads where you can watch me mow my yard in short cargo shorts and a sweaty white t-shirt.

[Dad and Forty @dadandforty]

Don't complain to me, try getting screwed by crabgrass overgrowth and have some real problems.

[Dad and Forty @dadandforty]

Wife: “If you come with me to run errands I’ll sleep naked tonight”

Me: “Let’s roll”

[Dad and Forty @dadandforty]

Fairly certain my kids learned all their cuss words by listening to the end of my sneezes.

[Dad and Forty @dadandforty]

Okay hear me out. #Target has a #Starbucks, why can’t we get a #HomeDepot with a bar in it?

[Dad and Forty @dadandforty]

Neighbor flexed his brand new Nike Air Monarchs so I blew all my clippings onto his driveway.

#newbalance

[Dad and Forty @dadandforty]

Wife: *makes fancy dinner*

Me:

Wife: “you’re gonna put hot sauce on that aren’t you?”

[Dad and Forty @dadandforty]

Go all night without getting up to pee you get to make a wish.

[Dad and Forty @dadandforty]

Pros and cons of making kids

Pros: Making

Cons: Kids

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