Dad Band Reject

just a dad looking to jam

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Really feel this one, here in the middle of my life's journey

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Dr. Strangebutt OR How I Became a Butt-Werewolf by Not Using One of Those Toilet Seat Cover Thingies

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Truly love it when my work computer crashes.

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Like, contain your own embarrassment for one extra second, if only so as to not literally get shot with a deadly firearm.

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Uh oh, it would appear a literal arms race has begun across the Baltimore Twitter battle lines.

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In other words, "lol the humorless dweebz in this f'd up town are gonna start packing heat expecting I dunno wtf lmao"

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Why on this beautiful Saturday morning do I see people on my timeline vehemently declaring that "marketability" is a natural, basic quality magnanimously handed down to our cave-dwelling ancestors by the very alien originators themselves?

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The piano in the Relaxin' version of Oleo just kills me

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@nakedfoul One Appetite for Destruction, and four blank slots because I forgot.

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@Jenifa_0_Jenny @alshipley It's just like the old saying goes, polish yourself before you demolish yourself.

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No thanks, I'm just gonna drink at home. (And not get COVID, either.)

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Oy, I think I'm way past done with the Martin Scorsese cinematic universe.

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Positive and supportive mutuals, this subtweet is not for you.

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Listen, positivity blue checks, what keeps me going is nobody caring and nobody helping me with nothin'. It's not the same as "believing in yourself," no, I suppose not.

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Goddamnit there's a sports game and all the sports nerds are filling up my timeline talking sports.

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When someone complains that they are the real victim of honest people trying to rid the world of antisemitism, won't you know it, and you can take a moment to do the math in your head, that someone is an antisemite.

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The non-masking, maskless-two-drink-minimum-fundraiser holding leftists are shaming people for not masking?! What is going on?

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@RahneAlexander @wbaltv11 That "M*Ms for L*b*rty" isn't immediately seen by reporters as the extremist f*sc*st, intentionally socially destabilizing terrorist group that it is is a fundamental failure in journalism and basic social responsibility.

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Don't mind me, just shouting, "I don't want this!" at my computer, repeatedly, at the top of my lungs.