Jonny Fritz

Pathological optimist.

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

Sane goes for what we think is fancy. We call it French. ie: braid, toast, tickler, fries

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

We refer to things as Canadian when they’re considered sub-par/ ie. bacon, tuxedos, geese, bagels, vodka. We should take it further. Rebrand things like the “whore’s bath”. From now on it’s a Canadian bath

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

It took far too long for someone to invent a tent assembles itself once thrown in the air

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

Fruit by the foot but in aluminum foil size packaging

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

Kickstopper: an app that lets you petition a bad art project from happening

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

Redneck bumper sticker : DRIVE IT LIKE A RENTAL

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

A sink is just a urinal with cold AND hot water. Call it what it is

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

Be wary of when you start becoming interested in learning more about wine

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

More things wrapped around hotdogs would be nice

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

Billionaire Hood outreach reality TV show. Pick one person and give them endless funds, document how they spend it and chart their happiness

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

Real estate listing staged to look like a wedding with actors crying and fake ceremony in the backyard

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

The 6 o’clock news read solely by extremely hard to understand regional accents (Philadelphia, Appalachia, Rhode Island, ESL…)

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

Asylum seekers given ghost towns and good luck

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

Wake up and tweet all the ideas you can think of before you get out of bed

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

Christmas Evil, find me

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

“I’d rather date a cop than a bad artist” -Fred @FredHolston

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

You don’t know what a hard day is until you’ve been brought to tears by the harsh words of a toddler.

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

I’ve been eating meat my whole life and def felt conflicted before but never like when I just scooted the corpse of a big ass fly into the garbage disposal. What does this mean, doc?

[Jonny Fritz @dadcountry]

I can’t stand Townes Van Zandt and I despise Karen Dalton. There, I said it. Unfollow away

[Jonathan Bernstein @jonbern]

hoping for a premium @dadcountry real estate booth at
@Newportfolkfest this weekend.