Daddy Stories

Dad to 2 girls. Some say im a walking contraceptive advert.

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

Why do babies insist that you be standing to sooth them, what have babies got against sitting?!?

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

Turning on the IPad and putting on Disney+,

One step, two step,

Dad can finally poop in peace.

(To the tune of round and round the garden)

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

Reading nursery rhymes to my daughter last night made me think about how outdated they are so thought I’d create some new ones to go with modern times….
[Thread]

#nurseryrhymes

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

The sign on the bus said the EU was ripping you off,
ripping you off,
ripping you off,

the sign on the bus said the EU was ripping you off,

but Boris was just lying. 

(To the tune of wheels on the bud)

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

Tell me your a parent, without telling me your a parent...

I’ll go first. It just took me 4 hours to watch a 30 minute TV episode 🤦🏼‍♂️🥴

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

Today someone asked if having 2 daughters gave me a different perspective on #SarahEverard story.

Truthfully, No.

It shouldn’t have to take having a daughter, wife or sister for men to care about the safety of women. Just be a good, decent human being for fucks sake

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

Pro toddler tip: Having trouble getting them back to the car/home? Take a couple of rubber ducks with you and intermittently hide them ahead of you. Quickest walk home we’ve had!

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

When I check my diary and realise I don’t have a zoom call booked for the first time in over a year

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

2yo refusing to brush her teeth for the last hour.
Then just as I’m going to the toilet.
2yo: brush teeth?!

Sure they time these things just to test us sometimes.

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

Creating a custom Mother’s Day card really reminds me i need to start taking more photos of my wife with the kids

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

@TiredMomLife Thank you! 😊😊😊

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

Follow up to the desk project, my FIL also made this custom headboard from pallet wood for us 😍 love it

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

@momma_ghost Thank you! We absolutely love it 😍 always liked the chevron design!

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

I might have to start charging my parents an hourly rate for IT support or set up a ticketing request system at this rate

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

@MattieRobert3 Yeh it was very strange, seems like something to wait until teens atleast to me 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

At the park today, there was another girl about 4/5 with full make up on.

It’s not just me that thinks that’s weird right?

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

@Perfectmanifest Oh good, it was full on red lipstick and pink cheeks, very strange and not sure I hid it well 😂

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

@Mamaoutoforder

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

@momsense_ensues Oh and Heath 😥

[Daddy Stories @Daddy_stories]

@momsense_ensues I miss robin williams every day...