Daddy Warpig

The man… the myth… the legend.

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

@MrBCWalker I mean if you change your citizenship, stop being a citizen, they still charge you income tax for ten years.

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

If you leave the US, they keep charging you income tax for TEN YEARS.

I mean, really.

[Gad Saad @GadSaad]

Following a very difficult meeting with my accountant, I just found out how much it is going to cost me in terms of an "exit tax" to leave Quebec and Canada. No human being in a free society should have their hard-earned money stolen in this manner. I'm genuinely numb. I'm speechless.

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

What the frakking frak?

[Dexerto @Dexerto]

MrBeast and author James Patterson are collaborating on a book titled The Most Dangerous Games

It follows 100 contestants competing to save humanity and win a $1 billion prize

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

I can and have fixed a flat tire.

[Sarah Hepola @sarahhepola]

Question for the men in the group: do you know how to fix a tire? If you got a flat tire, would you fix it yourself or call AAA?

(I do not need my tired fixed. I’m doing research.)

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

There’s no way to save the game. Let it die. Let the company die. Let Hasbro die.

We have all of the old editions we need.

[Agrivar @AgrivarDragon]

Here, let me shake Twitter like a snow globe.

Question at lunch today for classic Dungeons and Dragons players.

Would you rather see Dungeons and Dragons die, or would you rather watch the game change, but evolve into something that you might not like.?

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

Fricking 5th Edition.

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

JUST IN: British civil servants were reportedly asked to role-play as earthworms, eels, & oak trees during an “Interspecies Council” workshop.

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

And vastly less crime than they’ve been told to expect.

America has to be experienced to be believed. The land of milk and honey.

They’re gonna go home and throw a few revolutions until they get what Americans have.

[Selene Mariposa @Selene_Mariposa]

The World Cup has turned America into a discovery channel for the rest of the world.

And they are not handling it well.
In the best possible way.

Here is what they are discovering:

Free public restrooms. Europeans pay every time.
Free water at every restaurant. Just appears.
Free refills. Coffee. Sodas. Iced tea. Unlimited.
Free chips and salsa before you even order.
Free warm bread with dinner.
Ice in drinks like civilized people.
Air conditioning everywhere. Not a moral debate. A fact.
Parking lots attached to the actual place you are going.
Drive throughs where the food comes to the car while you sit in it.
Ranch dressing by the gallon.
Tex-Mex that cannot be explained only experienced.
Dental care that actually works.
Buccee’s. There are no words for Buccee’s.

Then they found the grocery stores.

Five of them within one mile.
Each one the size of an aircraft hangar.
Burgers. Steaks. Brisket. Ribs. Pulled pork. Lamb. Veal. Every cut of every animal ever domesticated by human civilization available in one refrigerated aisle at ten in the morning on a Tuesday.

The Germans stood in the meat section for forty five minutes.
In silence.
Processing.

They finally understand why we do not have trains.

We have roads wide enough for the cars we actually drive.
Parking lots the size of small European countries.
Airports in every city worth visiting.

Why would we need trains.

The Germans are taking ranch home by the bottle.
The Dutch found queso and briefly lost the ability to speak.
The Japanese are photographing HEB like it is the Louvre.
The Czechs are weeping in West, Texas.

Welcome to America.
Everything is free, enormous, air conditioned, comes with chips, and has five grocery stores within a mile that will sell you any cut of any animal you have ever imagined.

Write that down. 🦋

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

And here I thought doctors were SUPPOSED to tell you what the problem was.

[Aaron Sparrow™, Blocked But Never Forgotten @Aaron_Sparrow]

Aunt May using the word “mansplainy” is an example why I don’t buy comics from Marvel anymore.

Imagine being so mentally weak that you were offended that a doctor gave you a detailed breakdown of an issue critical to your continued good health.

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

L to R, and basing it just on looks, not having played the game, Dagger, The White Queen, and Sue Storm.

The White Queen is also known as Emma Frost.

Dagger was always one of my favorite characters, along with Psylocke and Dazzler.

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

Similar. Very similar.

[Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports]

When I was 12 years old I’d wake up on a Saturday morning, watch some cartoons and pro wrestling, go outside and throw a rubber ball off the side of the house, get the guys in the neighborhood together for Wiffle Ball, go inside for Atari and snacks, ride my bike to Dairy Queen for a Mr. Misty, listen to Casey Kasem, flip on ESPN and watch sports with no social commentary, flip it over to MTV, which showed actual music videos, go back outside for more Wiffle Ball, and then think “Hey, it’s almost 3 pm.” Living my best life and had no fucking idea how good I had it.

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

Russians are depressing in immense detail.

Frenchmen are frivolously depressing or miserable with more adultery.

British used to be witty. No idea if they’re allowed to be witty anymore.

Americans are either greatly optimistic and inventive or bad copies of Frenchmen.

[Laika Lee @TheKitschist]

Honest question:

Can readers really detect a writer’s nationality?

If I gave you a novel with no author name attached, would you know whether it was written by an American, a Russian, or an Asian writer?

Or are we all just telling human stories in different accents?

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

@corandog You refuse to understand basic English.

I can only imagine this causes immense problems in other areas of your life.

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

Randos with canned responses are so annoying. Go back to threads where they might actually reply.

I’M NOT COMMENTING ON THE MOVIE. I’m commenting on her stupid statements that drive away the potential audience.

Read before commenting next time.

[corandog @corandog]

@DaddyWarpig Honestly, it is a molehill being made into a mountain. Wait until you see the movie before you make a comment about it.

[PROBLEM CHILD FROM OUTER SPACE @Beige_Sphere]

@DaddyWarpig AI is so weird

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

@corandog Follow the logic, kid:

Her comments are driving the receipts down. The lower the receipts, the more likely the suits at Warners are to cancel Gunn’s suite of movies.

Has nothing to do with “Supergirl’s”content at all. I don’t need to see it to make that logical leap.

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

@Mr_Boffin @WorldOfTigra @TheLordEarlGrey Yea, or changed her name. I think that does the same thing.

Either way she just zipped out of here.

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

1. Stop publishing books for men
2. Blame men for not reading by-females-for-females books

This is the sort of person who claims all art is political, then denies that female editors publishing only female fiction is a political act.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

This is a saying I was not previously aware of.

[depths of wikipedia! @depthsofwiki]

ok who uses that last one

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

RED Martians.

[Curiosity @CuriosityonX]

What could be the most terrifying thing we find on Mars?

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

They RT, I RT.

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

Someone accused me of being "horny on main".

In retaliation, I present…

LUIS ROYO!

[J. Darryl Godwin @DJG6940]

@DaddyWarpig Driving the 405 at 5pm....

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

@gwen_novak9 Oh, it’s absolutely AI.

[Daddy Warpig @DaddyWarpig]

Kevin Costner or Patrick Swayze.

[Modern History @modernhistory]

who is the best actor in the picture??