Dad Jokes

TV, movies, sports, home repairs.

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

@elonmusk if you want this account you can have it for $69,420

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

@elonmusk if you want this account you can have it for $69,420

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

✌️

[worms cited @christapeterso]

people say let sleeping dogs lie. i say let them tell the truth

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

✅

[Bella 🐶🦴🍪🌻🔆 @PuppyWineMom]

My grandfather got addicted to Viagra. Nobody is taking it harder than my grandma

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

You expect me to believe my son dried these tomatoes?

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

(Pointing at the 4k Netflix Yule Log on my 55” Hisense Roku flatscreen) Careful! It’s hot!

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

Date night tonight!

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

What did the psychiatrist say to the man dressed entirely in Saran Wrap? Sir, I can clearly see your nuts.

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

I have a Theremin, but I haven’t touched it in years.

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

😬

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

I’m just resting my eyes.

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

@michiokaku Why did the sun go to college if it already had a million degrees?

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

Re: #Theranos - you had me at blood and Siemens

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

The moon has 1/6th of the Earth’s gravity...and refuses to give it back!

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

This year, Rick Moranis will come out of retirement to make “Honey I Shrunk the President” and bring the whole nation together.

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

🎊 Happy You Near! 🎊

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

@HuffPost Good one!
https://t.co/gUcxqUy5H9

[Dad Jokes @dadjokes]

Being a dad is great because you get to ruin someone from scratch!