Dad-Movie Dad

Hey Kids, Dad here. Every movie is a dad movie, and once I figure out the DVD player, there’s something to learn from each of them. Follow me for more wisdom.

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from #Blade2:
1. It's not a dud.
2. Better to have daddy issues than mommy issues.
3. No one can be told what the Blade franchise is, you have to see it for yourself.

https://t.co/nazI6xTLdX

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from #manwithmyhusbandsface:

1. @LMN still finding new ways to scare me away from men.
2. Invest is Zoink.
3. How easy it could be to take a 5 day vacay alone then come back and claim amnesia...

https://t.co/pEwTfERvyb

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from #Blade:

1. 90s folks really loved their sunglasses and trench coats.
2. Be more careful when a stranger offers a surprise.
3. Better to have mommy issues than daddy issues.

https://t.co/yIzeCkdqM6

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from Muppet Treasure Island & @HistoryMuppet :

1. Don't trust the cook.
2. Being an orphan is way more fun than I let on when I threaten to kick you kids out.
3. Find someone who loves you the way Fozzy loves Mr. Bimbo.

https://t.co/FcgWrzZGZA

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from #AIRMovie :
1. "Just do it" has a darker history than I realized.
2. It happened to Batman... Dad bods are in everyone's future.
3. Trust your mama. If @violadavis is not your Mama, get adopted and trust her instead.

https://t.co/ovtLX6m6zd

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from @meetM3GAN:

1. Kids are super easy to take care of if you have a tablet for them.
2. Packrats will always prevail because they're packrats.
3. Still never met a Megan I could trust.

https://t.co/Gw8uflcnRx

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from @Guardians:

1. You kids really do still like my music.
2. Joob Joob.
3. You can squeeze quite a few face-offs into a single story.

https://t.co/4fyv5gNOiD

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from @tmpmovie :

1. All kinds of demons and cryptids just hanging out on craigslist.
2. The black guy always dies first. Oh wait! Oh no, yeah, they do.
3. A little paint, some small repairs, that house could be as good as new.

https://t.co/TeXlahgGBu

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from @3000yearsmovie :

1. That Avatar font is still getting milage.
2. Oh what a bottle... What a lovely bottle.
3. Some people actually need a djinn's power to help them fall in love with @idriselba

https://t.co/4zC3W9fLq2

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from #Ghosted:
1. Marvel bros before schmoes.
2. Most Americans still need the term "ghosted" defined for them apparently.
3. I need to water our cactus more often.

https://t.co/jMODGNUpDp

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from #bodiesbodiesbodies :

1. Mo money, mo problems.
2. Podcasting has a dark side.
3. That calling someone "upper-middle class" was the most offensive thing in this movie is super offensive.

https://t.co/yL8jciC82E

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from #highfidelity:

1. She's just not that into you.
2. #howimetyourmother could have been done in 2 hours.
3. @jackblack will never not tell you what music to love or to hate.

https://t.co/rtoXGRHfgE

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from #TetrisMovie :

1. My 1st gameboy could've been in color with double the batteries.
2. Even rich kids ask their parents for a million dollars and don't get it.
3. Don't kiss anyone but your wife in Russia.

https://t.co/3cR6IJLTTg

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from #superman:

1. Superman doesn't have to fight other good guys in a movie.
2. Child nudity was handled much differently back in the 70s.
3. That superman can do that and that and that and that.

https://t.co/4CsBDk6xdQ

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from #TheIcePirates:

1. How to fake being a eunuch.
2. There are worse kinds of herpes than the one you have.
3. No matter how scarce water gets, save it all up for your high-tech, intimate-fantasy, tinder-hookup room.

https://t.co/NzlHQUHN4x

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from #TheInvitation:

1. When someone calls for refreshments, consider running at that time.
2. Never trust a distant English cousin.
3. @missnemmanuel thrives in movies about family. #FastAndFurious

https://t.co/5d158BaGqG

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from #citizenkane by:

1. How to really give a standing O.
2. Give a man all the money in the world and he could buy some pretty great stuff.
3. Sometimes kids just need to be kids.

https://t.co/Vr9nAZBDR7

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from #THEWOMANKING by:

1. Always stick to the plan... except sometimes don't.
2. There are parents out there that treated their kids way worse than I treated you.
3. Stay out of @violadavis 's way y'all.

https://t.co/kwWCDJ7Zwc

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from #horrorinthehighdesert2 by @DutchMarich :

1. Do not live in Nevada.
2. Car break down at night? Hide in the roadside bushes until your trusted help arrives.
3. Check the basement BEFORE you rent a place.

https://t.co/G0fuMrGjiK

[Dad-Movie Dad @dadmoviedad]

3 things I learned from #BedtimeStories:

1. REAL acting is doing an entire scene mumbling dialogue with your tongue out.
2. @kerirussellweb should star in every movie ever made.
3. You kids really love your booger jokes don't you?

https://t.co/yqb8QKRf3Z