Jay Slate

Aspiring minimalist who doesn't take things for granted, loves his family and baseball, and occasionally eats his vegetables (I don't recommend this).

[Jay Slate @DadWithThoughts]

#2017 : my son (daughter?) keeps putting on my daughter's (son's?) princess (prince?) dresses

[Millennial Million @themillmill]

I've been thinking a ton about flipping houses today

[Jay Slate @DadWithThoughts]

Is Pearl Jam good now because of the whole "time heals everything" idea or wtf is going on?

[Rock @TheMichaelRock]

Wife: were you even listening to me?

Me: no

Wife: then what did I just s...wait, what?

Me: I said no

Wife: I'm not sure what to do now

[Rock @TheMichaelRock]

Just for fun, find someone under 20 and explain to them the concept of calling a radio station to request a song.

[mark @TheCatWhisprer]

If you say literally anything three times in front of a mirror DJ Khaled will appear.

[Simon Holland @simoncholland]

We have an emergency! Tomorrow is the first day of school and we don't have a little chalkboard for our kids to hold for the FB photos.

[Abe Yospe @Cheeseboy22]

My wife hates snakes. But if they sold snakes at Target, we'd probably have a few snakes.

[Jay Slate @DadWithThoughts]

Wait. Wait. Wait. #covfefe is still in play? Has twitter MySpaced or have I?

[mark @TheCatWhisprer]

Serious question, is Piglet wearing a romper or is that just his body?

[Jay Slate @DadWithThoughts]

True https://t.co/Vb5bStU2Lw

[Eden Dranger @Eden_Eats]

Women's deodorant scents: Cashmere Mist, Lavender Fields, Hawaiian Breeze.

Men's deodorant scents: MANLY MAN, FAST CAR, BASKETBALL, GUN

[Daz? @HomeProbably]

I mean everything I say.

I only delete because I don't know if I want to mean it forever.

[Scott Linnen @ScottLinnen]

Ugh. People in love, get a room. And can we all come too? Nothing weird, just to cuddle.

[Jay Slate @DadWithThoughts]

Get some! https://t.co/9cvyywntrP

[MEGADUUM @MOfodum]

Less than 4 hours sleep but I've got a 5k morning run in an hour. Can I do it?

[Jay Slate @DadWithThoughts]

When life gives me lemons, I send that shit back because I ordered 3 Arby melts and a medium curly fry. #gtfoh #Scaramucci #lemons

[Jay Slate @DadWithThoughts]

@D_Ross3 would you please be a surprise guest at my brother's wedding in October? I know it's playoff season, which would be even better!

[Jay Slate @DadWithThoughts]

Kind of obsessed with real estate investing and financial literacy. Gettin. Ma. Learn. Awn!

[Jay Slate @DadWithThoughts]

My wife tells me my mustache is nasty. Please tell me she's cray

[Jay Slate @DadWithThoughts]

@LenKasper hey Len, has JD ever snapped during a game before like we just saw?

[Jay Slate @DadWithThoughts]

Durant was petty last night