Awooga Mazda

Beshno az ney chon hekāyat mikonad

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

[writing erotica] her smell was irresistible, like a freshly opened pack of yugioh cards

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

Going on tinder feels like walking around your hometown and seeing crackheads wearing diamond supply co and gauge earrings being high on fent

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

*grabbing the arm of an effective altruist* If you're so rational why can't you stop hitting yourself

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

The team you have in a JRPG when you’re trying to level up characters you don’t use as often

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

What arguing with a bot on twitter feels like

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

I am a Zillennial i.e. a Millennial with Chinese characteristics

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

Date: So tell me about yourself

Me: When I'm doing lateral raises at the gym I like to pretend I'm a beautiful bird flapping its majestic wings

Date: Why does this keep happening

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

Tragic: local man did not do the best he could with the information he had at the time

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

Love fucking around (sitting in the shade of a tree)
Hate finding out (planting trees in whose shade I shall never sit)

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

You are in love with an anime waifu

I am in love with a Queen of Spades I once saw in a deck of playing cards

We are not the same

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

Jungians reading binary be like: uroboros phallus uroboros uroboros uroboros phallus uroboros phallus

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

mfers have nine friends and think they're akatsuki

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

you know the nap is bout to be fire when you lie down and start twitching

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

Being a tyrannical overlord ain't what it used to be... henchmen don't even say "duhhh ok boss" no more

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

Reject modernity (scrolling through social media)

Embrace tradition (gazing longingly at one's own reflection)

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

I do not know what a "hater" is. I merely have fake arguments with people in my head

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

Me, buying weed: Lemme get your weakest shit

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

We were dead matter and now we're having a conscious experience. What is a "scrum meeting"

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

won't let the 'donate your eclipse glasses' crowd take away my God-given right to recreationally stare directly at the sun whenever I want

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

Went to see the eclipse today and someone booed when the sun came back. The audacity

[Awooga Mazda @daftunc]

Date: So tell me about yourself

Me: Whenever I’m on the treadmill I like to pretend I’m the sole source of energy for a microscopic civilization. While appreciative, they are also astonished by my massive power and size. I am their Sun

Date: Why does this keep happening