Reality is some people just don’t align & this was my last year letting my empathy for people keep me attached to what my discernment already rejected.
True alchemists know you just gotta lean into your inner chaos in order to conjure something new. This is why people stuck in chronic avoidance also suffer for prolonged periods. There is no reward for avoiding yourself.
You've got to get almost annoyingly serious about trusting yourself. You heard what you heard. You saw what you saw. You felt what you felt. Your body is speaking to you. Believe it.
More than half of Nigerian immigrants in Canada screen positive for clinical depression.
Not homesickness. Not stress. Clinical depression. Measured. Peer reviewed. Published.
The risk does not go down the longer you stay. It goes up.
The japa conversation is about getting there.
What happens after you arrive and the adrenaline wears off is a conversation we are not having.
Are we talking about this enough or are we still calling it a spiritual problem?
At some point in mental illness you stop going “I’m so sorry it’s because of the depression/autism/adhd” and start going “I’m not well in the head. I do what I want. Stay out of my way” and this, ironically, will massively improve your day-to-day mental health
I finally understand what Machiavelli meant when he said, “Never play fair in a game where others cheat.” It doesn’t mean become evil. It means stop being naive. Stop bringing honesty to people who study manipulation, stop giving access to people who weaponize closeness, and stop expecting clean hands from people who already showed you they’ll throw dirt. Sometimes wisdom is not revenge. Sometimes wisdom is learning the rules of the room before the room uses your goodness against you.
The autistic urge to win people's friendship by being as helpful as you can, but then accidentally getting manipulated and misled by opportunists who use you for your free labour.