David Altman

[Parody Nigel Farage @Parody_PM]

Had a very productive Away Day at Chequers today.

[Tottenham Hotspur @SpursOfficial]

Kane plays in Hojbjerg who rifles it home!

WE'VE WON THE GROUP!!!

[John Rentoul @JohnRentoul]

The restraint required by @RishiSunak not to tweet, “told you so,” is superhuman

[James Chapman @jameschappers]

He was ridiculed for predicting it, but it looks like Rishi Sunak was right.

[Tottenham Hotspur @SpursOfficial]

Three vital points at @SpursStadium 💪

🎥 Highlights: Spurs 6-2 Leicester

[LADbible @ladbible]

😂😂

@rickygervais

[Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️‍🌈 🇺🇦 @craiguito]

If Elon Musk really wanted to show off his wealth he could’ve just bought an open return train ticket from Manchester to London.

[Dr Meenal Viz @drmeenalviz]

Whilst MPs get free parking, NHS staff have to pay to arrive at their place of work where they save countless lives.

If you believe this needs to change, please RT 💙

[ICE T @FINALLEVEL]

I was robbed at a gas station in NJ last night. After my hands stopped trembling..I managed to call the cops and they were quick to respond and calmed me down..... My money is gone.. the police asked me if I knew who did it..I said yes.. it was pump number 9…

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

Two guys are playing chess.

One says to the other, "How about we make this more interesting?"

So they stop playing chess.

[Hannah Jung @academijung]

For all the people that think they are bad at responding to emails:
I emailed a professor 12 years ago asking about source recommendations for a paper I was writing for a class during my undergrad. He replied to my email TODAY.

[Roger Hutchinson @RogerMiles]

The Russian Embassy in Lisbon. Two neighbouring houses are projecting the blue and yellow onto its facade. The ambassador is reportedly “apoplectic”.

[Emma Dolan @JustMissEmma]

I demanded this level of street art be made compulsory… STAT!!

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

What does jeff bezos do before bed?

He puts his pyjamazon.

[Phil Saunders @PhilSau31279731]

Isn't this so true @rickygervais #AfterLife