playboi carhartti

I don’t proofread shit.

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

Spaceships My father
🤝
Not equipped with rear view mirrors,
dip as quick as they can

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

Let this be a lesson, don’t drop a song about wanting your team to win a championship, especially if the shit is butt cheeks

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

All I truly want is a week long vacation to Disney World to play golf.

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

This could be the best hockey game of all time. It’s 9 seconds in.

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

Some things are inexcusable, like having a no steeze push

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

Bianca said she thought I’d be one of those dudes that wears those rubber wedding rings, so I’m single now.

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

It was scary how good I felt on my skates last night after not skating in a year.

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

“Lying is good sometimes”
- @biancawonkaa

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

I love the part in Xcore music when they go, “OOH!”

[shit my bf says @daltonisms27]

fuck this gay ass earth

[shit my bf says @daltonisms27]

Free Palestine free Tay K bitch

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

I called this shit

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

Brainrot kids really need to hear “Swag Like Ohio” from Lil B. That shit might change their mind about their vernacular.

Thank you, BasedGod

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

Sideburns Battle!
John Popper of Blues Traveller
VS
Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

I officiated a wedding of two of my dearest friends, and had this absolute smoke show on my arm. I can’t comprehend the magnitude of this W for myself.

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

“The fentanyl got me moving like a claymation figure”

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

Freddie Freeman is insane

[shit my bf says @daltonisms27]

I’m white, I have blind confidence

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

This is the same powerplay that we saw last year. That’s uhhhh, not good.

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

Logan Stankoven is gross

[playboi carhartti @daltr0n]

Dallas Stars hockey is almost back, so I’m going to be annoying on Twitter again.